bigfoodiemama

FINALLY .......my juices are flowing !! After a lengthy dry spell during which I thought normal service would not resume, along came a cock and all is again well with the world. Well truthfully this was the second part of my return to form. After a self imposed Facebook ban, I went online one evening to find that the local Rugby club, for whom I had danced the twist with the Honey Monster and nearly ruptured myself with the Spud Farmer, were hosting a " Commit to getting 5k fit" course with none other that Gentle Gary and Jolly Joan at the helm. Having spent the past year recovering from injury and only recently having broken into a trot ( only after a man approached me from behind with his large syringe.....) I reckoned I am ready for some increased activity but require motivation. Well....if anything is going to motivate me it's the thought of GG dressed in camouflage shouting at me....it's the stuff of dreams ! I am already planning my outfit and wondering if the M

I am coming back as a female Japanese puffer fish ! She has it sussed. None of your normal prtracted courtship, marriage, sexual activity, pregnancy and agonising birth for her...oh no ! Instead she happily browses the underwater boutiques whilst numerous male Japanese puffer fish work 24 hours a day for 7 days to create a sea bed masterpiece for her by moving around flapping its fins to make patterns in the sand. He clears away any bits of rubbish left around and gathers pretty shells to decorate it with. After 7 days hard labour, the female swims over for a look at the various potential homes for her offspring and choses her mate based on how impressed she is by the house on offer. She gives him the nod, but pops off to the shops again for an hour whilst he then makes a special soft bed in the middle of his masterpiece. She returns and a mere love bite to her cheek stimulates her to drop her numerous eggs, whilst he fertilises them, only when they have left her body, and then tucks