bigfoodiemama

We've had the minimiser, balcony, underwired, push up and wonder and now we have the Emergency Bra ! It's not a joke ! Check out www.ebbra.com and see for yourself. A doctor has invented a bra that can then be used as a facemask in the case of smoke , disease or biological warfare ! The great thing about this actual piece of lingerie is that it is hot ! Bright red hot...the only colour you can get it in at present but we are promised a selection soon. She is working on an emergency shirt for men but personally I would like to see Emergency bright red speedos...they could save my life any day !Apparently you can remove the bra and create the facemask without removing any of your clothing ( I will be discouraging this with the speedos). In an emergency it is of course vital that you don't show any flesh...remember the clean pair of knickers, hit by a bus advice ! The serious advantage is that, like all bras it has in fact got two cups ie. two facemasks so you can save the tot

The key to looking slim is hanging around with people who are fatter than you are.I kinda forget this and have failed to make myself look any better due to the fact that those I am most often seen with are all smaller than I. I am not suggesting that I hang around with a bunch of supermodels ( they will not be offended by this). I try to hang with the "built for comfort not for speed" type but the FA has let me down badly a) by turning into a slim person and b) by introducing an even slimmer Sparkle to the group ! And she's meant to be a friend!The Baking Queen is pregnant...thank you, the blonde declares she has put on a stone ( I am not sure but it's good of her to say) and Newly Single has a Thyroid problem...happy days !True friends ! Bigfoodiemama is too big presently. A drastic decision has been made....I will return to WW this Thursday....just before a birthday dinner out with the all of the above for the FA's birthday. I am declaring my intent so that I ha

I exposed my pumpkins. They had been under cover for long enough and lets face facts there is only a little bit of sun left so I got them out. GASP was not there. I just strolled out to the garden while the baby was asleep and eldest son was watching TV.I whisked away everything that was covering them and turned the gorgeous smooth globes towards the sun. It felt good, liberating even and it was a great start to a Sunday.It was followed by a family trip to Newbridge House and Gardens in Donabate, where we enjoyed their fabulous playground, the gorgeous farm and a great zesty lemon cinnabun from the Sunday Market !It was packed and as always the Polish put we Irish to shame. On National picnic day they make the mark. They use public parks and amenities exactly as they should be used, for great big family outings with loads of great food. The Irish struggled with the dress code today. You see although it was Autumn, it was very warm so you got everything from Bermudas and sun glasses to

Today GASP and I took a day off work and went to the National Ploughing Competition in Athy on a date. (www.npa.ie) It was fantastic ! GASP was a bit impatient when we reached the site and had about a 10 minute queue to get to our parking space. Hi impatience soon turned to satisfaction, when I whipped out my food flask containing hot sausages and rashers and proceeded to make up our own Breakfast Rolls with Orange Juice.....yes I am a Goddess ! We strolled around for the day GASP in his element admiring buttocks...of Belgians Blues while I admired admired the tackle of an Aberdeen Angus. We watched nether regions being shaved, hair being combed, hairspray being applied and powder being sprinkled....and that was just the livestock !The great thing about the ploughing is that, once you don a pair of wellies, you are dressed.Now every type of wellie was on show, spots, stripes, swirls, scottie dogs and my personal favourites, wellies covered in stiletto shoes. Those of us over 30 stuck t

The Gospel according to GASP...."Sunday is a day of rest". Now GASP uses this religious reference in order to further his own relaxation. Take yesterday for example. The MALE - GASP got his Sunday lie in ( I am not complaining as I get Saturday morning)He rose, showered and arrived down to the kitchen where I handed him a bacon omlette, toast and tea. Off he went to mass after the usual 10 minutes in the loo ( what do men do for that long ??)After mass he collected me and the boys and we went to visit his Mun ...MIL. While he reads Pat Spillane in the Sunday World ( why buy your own when you can read your brothers) Following this we headed back home where GASP seated himself in front of the television in the kitchen, having convinced eldest son to watch a DVD. Having known he would want to watch the All Ireland Final I had resigned myself to the fact he would not be in communication for 1 and a half hours...my mistake. The commentary before the minor match started at 1.30 and

So I went from Fridays baby shower to Saturdays "surprise" celebration of MIL's 75th birthday. Having declared she wanted no fuss, bother or the likes, the large ( massive) extended family ignored this completely and decided to hold a "surprise" party in her house yesterday. I use inverted commas around "surprise" as they could not keep a secret if their lives depended on it. They are alien to the subtle look, raised eyebrow or whisper opting for very loud conversations, numerous phone calls, exagerrated hand gestures and constant changes of plan. I was charged with bringing Lemon Chicken, a recipe I will blog at some stage as it feeds alot of people very well.We were asked to arrive at 4.30 so we got there at 4.45 to find we were first....by a mile !Gradually the seven dwarfs and their husbands and offspring arrived as did one brother in law (aka Loud) and family. The other brother in law present ,single white male , who asked for the party to take pl

So last night the Caribbean Queen had the generosity to host ( in her MTV cribs style house) a baby shower for the Mad One. A great gang of women gathered, the Stunner, Maxi, Stage School Mum, the Culchie Dub, Andie Mc Dowell, BMM, the Mad Ones MIL and the Caribbean Queen Mother. The Mad Ones daughter got to come along to the girls evening much to her delight and designed a special baby shower card, ie. a picture of her mother in the shower with her head poking above the door and her bump poking out the side !She had announced at school earlier that she was going to a baby shower, which her friends took to mean that her mother was going to give birth that evening in the Caribbean Queens bathroom....thankfully this was not the case. The food was a delight, warm salsa or crab dip, guacamole, sour cream or a heavenly combination of roasted figs, tossed in balsamic vinegar and topped with crumbled goats cheese ! We overdid it a bit on the starters but still managed to devour the stuffed br

This is a totally true story. I have the most wonderful assistant at work whom I shall call Jackanory because she tells the most fantastic stories, all of which are about her and true. She doesn't think they are funny but she has reduced to tears on many an occasion...like the time she and her mother went to view a show home, took a look around the downstairs and kitchen and headed upstairs. They were a bit surprised to find some of the people drinking wine, until they realised they had gate crashed a house warming!She told me this story a couple of weeks ago and I insisted she recount it to the rest of my colleagues. They loved it and asked me if I knew the bank raid story. I said I hadn't and so heard the following true story. When Jackanory was in her early twenties (in the late 70's) and recently engaged, she was working in a building society. One day, as she was sorting money with her colleague, in the presence of three detectives, three armed men burst in wearing bala

Last night the FA invited a select group around to her recently Feng Shui'd house for dinner. The group consisted of Newly Single, myself, the blonde, the Baking Queen and a very welcome addition to the madness, Sparkle. Sparkle has been subjected to us before ,but in our diluted state, when the men were present,so she had not felt the full force of our gathering in the one room...god bless her !The usual components of our conversations ensued, with the regular smattering of innuendo, shrieks, laughter and groaning. The Baking Queen entertained us with the story of the time she went to Harwich for a week with a friend when she was 18. They hired a sun bed for a week, lay under it daily, came back with a tan and told everyone they had been to Spain ! Newly Single gave us a glimpse of our previous lives....in technicolor ! The Baking Queen brought forward many gasps and shrieks when she advised us of the baby names she had in mind for her December baby.The blonde is concerned that I

As I had made a large lemon cake for eldest son's birthday, and there was only three of us to eat it, there was a lot left so ( never one to waste food)I used the sponge to create a trifle. This came to me as Fat Freddie was coming to lunch and after Lemon Meringue Pie, Sherry trifle is his favourite. Now he hates those dry, gelatinous individual trifles, he only likes it from the side of a great big bowl of trifle, particularly on it's second day when all the flavours have married. So off I went, spreading cherry jam on the sponge and placing it in the base of a fabulous Crystal bowl. I drained two cans of fruit cocktail ( shock horror....not fresh fruit). I mixed the syrup with a good measure of rum ( sherry ran out) and poured this sweet heady syrup onto the sponges. On top I spread the fruit, a layer of jelly and then a layer of custard. I repeated these steps until the bowl was a myriad of colours and spread a layer of lightly whipped cream over the top. I put this in the

Son aged five sat behind me in the car this afternoon teaching his cousin aged four a Westlife song. " 5 foot 10, cat suit and Bambi eyes " he sang repeatedly while his cousin looked on in admiration. After a few minutes of this, I turned on the radio for a change of tune, just as the line " I really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree" was sung. The five year old burst out laughing exclaiming "shake your tree....How do you shake someones tree Mammy ?" I suggested it was a nice thing to do to someone and left it at that ! Later in the day the cousin asked if I had finally bought playdough.." oh no, I forgot" I exaggeratedly replied thinking over my dead body was playdough coming out. Hearing this he replied " you also forgot to buy new sand for the sand pit....you're not the best are you !" What hope have the women of the future got with these two on the loose later in life?

I had not meant to sound psychiatric in my last post but must have done as the Mad One and the Caribbean Queen both phoned to suggest I have the boys minded so I could join them and some others for a girlie lunch. The Saviour came to the rescue and I proceeded to Fuschia House in Ardee for some necessary "me time". Also there was Maxi, the Stunner, Stage School Mum and the Culchie Dub. As expected, particularly due to the presence of the Mad One, the conversation sank to a very low level, so I was well and truly entertained. At one point someone asked for some Paracetamol and the conversation got round to medication. I felt the need to recount a story told to me some time ago, of a friend of mine who, in advance of having an IUD fitted, was given a Difene suppository, by another friend, to make the whole experience less uncomfortable. On questioning afterwards as to how it all went, she exclaimed that having the IUD fitted was not half as hard as having had to SWALLOW the Dif

http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/272947/Hairy-Bakers---Maple-syrup-scones Yes ,I know you thought I had disappeared off the planet but the last week has been a roller coaster. Fat Freddie in hospital ( he'll be fine ) , BMM's house warming, sick baby Monday,Eldest Son's 5th Birthday Tuesday, his first day at school Wednesday, he came home sick !Back to docs for second time in a week . My plans for this week off work have gone completely out the window and I am suffering somewhat from cabin fever. I have turned to baking for sanity . Last week the childminder who shall be known as my Saviour, gave me a ridiculously big marrow...the size of a pumpkin. She suggested that I would know what to do with it...no,not like that!Firstly I roasted a quarter of it and although it was successful,it lacked a bit of flavour.I decided then to go down the sweet route and made a Marrow Cake ( ie. carrot cake made from marrow)I topped it with an orange butter icing and it was really good, i