bigfoodiemama

I have a seat needs some attention. The upholstery is faded, saggy and loose and the stuffing, which ,at some point, I am sure was firm and supportive is now a bit skimpy, lacking and quite hard to sit on. With refurbishment in mind, GASP approached it first...well I thought it only fair before I farmed it out. He drove his elbow into it in an effort to loosen up the stuffing but to little lasting effect. He suggested turning over and approaching from a different angle, but he was only getting excited. Marcus Aurelius , happily stuck 4 inch needles in it, which I quite enjoyed to be honest, but I was still not completely satisfied. I thought about Rapid Ronan with a view to his slightly sadistic approach of putting it on a static bicycle and going hell for leather until the bulk improved, but reckoned it might actually kill me. Alot of women swear by him though. Then I happened across a wee ad on Facebook from none other than my all time favourite man for the job...yes , you guessed

There is a brothel out the back of our house. About 8 females inhabit it, 2 madams and their 6 young ladies. There are two male pimps known as Big Fat Norman and Batman, who visit frequently just to observe or occasionally, no doubt, based on the squeals and screams, to sample the goods. Activity fluctuates on a daily basis, as not all the ladies are there at one time....but when they are it is mostly playful but, women being women, it can turn vicious and occasionally someone gets hurt. I constantly feel the need to step in, but GASP advises me strongly against this citing nature and it being " just the way of the world" and so I remain an interested caring observer. One of the ladies however is very skinny, looks very frail and, in my opinion, needs rescuing, I noticed a particularly rough altercation with Big Fat Norman earlier and wanted to jump straight in but held back for fear of even more trouble. " I love an underdog" I said to GASP, who is quite frankly a