The morning after !

Where do I start.Truthfully preparations for last night started on Wednesday with exfoliation an shaving, followed by tanning on Thursday. Not just standard tanning, I actually put fake tan over every inch of my legs as opposed to the mid thigh piebald pony look I usually go for !The boys were dropped off by me to BMM's house at 6.15 and I arrived home to GASP dressing so I duly took to the shower. I got very excited when I realised that GASP was sitting on the edge of our bed looking into the ensuite at the good wife in the shower so I acted like I was in the Timotei ad. Unfortunately when I turned off the loud power shower, I realised that my husband of 7 years was actually listening to the sports news on our bedside radio !I clothed myself in a pretty summer dress with the required amount of tanned cleavage ( and a bit more!)At 7.15 I poured a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and sat down beside my husband as he watched....yes you guessed it...The A Team !Marital bliss. Off to Newly Singles we went with my Tequila and Lime cheesecake and we collected the Blonde and Victor Meldrew on the way. The four of us joined Preggers, Photoshop, Porn Star, The FA, The Baking Queen and the Teacher outside for Prosecco ( in very large glasses ). It was a fabulous long evening which I am forced to abbreviate for more than one reason.The food was fab - chili, rice, avacado salsa, green salad, sour cream and tortilla chips. Pavlova from the Baking Queen joined my cheesecake but she won the award when she produced the home made Rocky Road.....amazing !Might I suggest though that the food faded into insignificance put up against the conversation topics introduced by the Porn Star.....he's not called that for any other reason !At 40 years of age I am still learning and there are terms in use I was not aware of. The gasps, squeals and howls were worthy of a noise pollution complaint and more than once the expression on the blondes face was nothing short of incredulous. I was glad that I did carry out my pelvic floor exercises post natally. No subject was sacred, no sexual stone unturned, no teabag left unsqueezed !!!!I was quite nervous of leaving in case GASP felt the need to teach an old dog new tricks.....even though my tan covered all the necessary regions !All I will say is that our marital bed is still standing this morning, 7 years to the day we got married.........GASP !