Window of Opportunity
A book entitled " What Men Think About Apart from Sex" sold out on ebay today bringing it to the top of the bestsellers list. This 200 page book proved particularly popular with a group of Oxford students, who bought it to use as a notebook.....because all 200 pages were BLANK !The author is apparently considering a follow up with " What Women Think About Apart from Sex". My feeling is that this will, in fact, be an encyclopedia. All members of the male sex should by law be made to buy it, read it and memorise topics from the encyclopedia so that ,on a Saturday night, they have some chance of engaging their wife/girlfriend in a conversation other then "fancy a ****" .
I realised though, that if men truly think about sex so much, we need, as a female race, to come up with a system for managing their wants and desires so I have invented the "window of opportunity technique". This complex "sexual management and coital kibosh" ( SMACK ) technique firstly involves careful research on behalf of the female. You need to truly know your partners greatest desires eg. westerns, soap operas, football, Match of the Day, Primetime ( please God no! )LMFM sports report....you get my drift. With 30 seconds to go to their favourite moment of the week, you look straight into his eyes and say there is a 5-10 "window of opportunity" for nookie. After that time the window will be closed, and should he not want to avail of the window, no offense will be taken. You then slope off to the bedroom, safe in the knowledge, that there is no chance he will open the window.You can roll over and go to sleep ,having, like a dutiful partner, offered him what he wants,knowing full well that he won't avail of it.....genius !
P.S. I will be patenting the " SMACK" and there will be t-shirts !
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