bigfoodiemama

So, last Thursday, the decision was made by the Mad One that the Spud Farmer was to take her to "Finally all there " Bogger's bar in the local town.Thursday, quite frankly a ridiculous night to go out, was chosen due to the 2 for 1 cocktail promotion. I was confident I could survive in that I was going to be driving, so Fridays work would be manageable.Then GASP suggested he would come with me immediately doubling, and very quickly trebbling my planned consumption. GASP is not a man for pubs, as a non drinker, so I reckon he was metaphorically "peeing up my leg", possibly a little concerned that I was about to elope with a fellow dancer....women of my age need to be watched ! This led to a conversation at work with the young ones, in regard to what does a 40 something woman wear to a pub for a 2-4-1 cocktail night in a rural town. The advice was "jeans, heels and a nice top", so after work I popped down to Dunnes to get a new pair of fitted jeans, as

This may well be the hardest blog I have ever written. The nature of blogs is that they find amusing things about ordinary life, not as I am about to to do, try to capture the escense of an extraordinary event. Last weekend was Strictly Extraordinary. Friday night saw our dress rehearsal. Now the Mad One had advised me that T.W.I.N.C would not have had a personality change from the Wednesday and would still be narky...oh boy was she right. So much so, that Masticating Matthews threatened to strangle him...Stage 1 of T.W.I.N.C. vs Matthews. The Spud Farmer did manage to cause a moment of hilarity however, when during his first Bee Gee type disco move he caught his afro wig with the tip of his finger and it flew across the stage.Midst much laughter he retrieved the wig, only to put it on backwards and tilted over his eyes, making him look even more rediculous, which was quite an acheievement, based on the fact that he was dressed like a cross between Prince, Scooby Doo and a male Strippe

So, the last night of training took place on a Wednesday. T.W.I.N.C., who is usually more cheerful on a Wednesday decided to bring his Monday humour so made no friends. The Honey Monster and I demonstrated our dance for him , only to be told it lacked any perfromance and was "boring"...the cheek. Mind you, he accused Macho Martha and the One Legged Scot of being "comical". This was was not received well by Macho, whose face looked as if he might be, yet again, choosing a window. By the time practice finished, everyone was in need of a drink and to let their hair down.....off to the KAC Shack we went for the Boys Tanning Night.....oh yes ! Now, I was under the impression that a couple of the more competitive males would be the only ones partaking of the spray tan, so as to increase the ante, but it turned into a tanfest ! We descended upon the KAC Shack with drinks and were greeted by bowls of the Dancing Butchers Chicken Goujons, which we duly devoured. No sooner ha

T.W.I.N.C. has decided he quite likes his new name, but did advise me to google it's meaning...I duly googled TWINK only to find it referred to a slender young man, the term stemming ( no pun intended) from the "golden coloured phallic-shaped snack cake, the "Twinkie", known for being of little nutritional value, sweet to the taste and creme filled, memorable more for it's outer packaging as opposed to it's inner depth....I rest my case :) Last Wednesday night T.W.I.N.C. was in great form ( Wednesdays are always better than Mondays) As I lay snivelling on the floor about to leap up beside the Honey Monster, T.W.I.N.C. yelled "Finger Him". This followed his instruction to Macho Martha and The One Legged Scot earlier in the evening to "give me sex, two pumps and a squirt". Cautiously ( still recovering from the previous weeks " pick a window /bowl of brave incident")T.W.I.N.C. suggested that Macho might smile and look to attract h