50 shades...ardee style

I held it in my hand and caressed it....it was hard, smooth and it's red round end glistened in my hand. I could not wait to get it inside me. Lovingly I caressed it and wondered if my sister knew what her husband was capable of delivering.She really didn't appreciate the depths of his talents, but I would not be guilty of that sin. I was going to savour every bit of it , slowly nibbling before devouring it. I gasped, awash with feelings I had not known for some time. The others did not compare...this was going to be an experience and I knew what I was getting, because I had had it before and was left satisfied, smiling and wanting more.....there is nothing like a Rooster. Kerrs Pinks don't even come close and as for Maris Piper....pah ! The Spud Farmer produced premium produce and had left his bag at my back door...if you know what I mean ! As I gently cleansed it of it's Louth mud, patted it dry and pricked it, I thanked God my sister had married a spud man....more please !