bigfoodiemama

Following my period of enforced hospitalisation, I became very aware of the sad state of affairs that was my underwear shelf. I had only one,new shiny white t shirt bra, which was in any way decent, and as it was a "full cup" it was huge, unattractive and an actual form of contraception in itself. The grumpy lady I had approached in Marks and Spencer's one morning, did not know if she had the time to measure me as only 2 others had turned up to work, as opposed to 3 and she had stock to sort....LIKE I CARED ! I was under pressure, under stress and now without underwear as I realised I had flown out of the house that morning in a black bra and jumper, the top I had to change into for an after work do was white...hence my need to purchase. Under duress, she sighed heavily and escorted me to the changing room and measured me at a 42C.....a disaster in measurement terms. M+S has one, yes ONE bra to fit me, as I am apparently so huge across my back would need to approach a sc

Right, so the time has come for me to return to work following my recovery from illness. This forced period of absence from work has taught me a lot, made me contemplate and given me the space to think... for a change ! So firstly, what have I learned. 1. If you feel like you might actually pass out, it is probably sensible not to take a shower alone before you set out to the doctor on call. 2. The reason you shave your pits, bits and legs regularly is in preparation for this moment. Keep it up. 3 When choosing your outfit to go to Doc on Call, never presume you will be coming home afterwards. However ill you are pay attention to your outfit...layers are a good idea as you will go from hot to freezing if you have a temperature and lying all night on a trolley in a wool jumper is hell. 4. Basically all of the above reminded me that everyone should have a hospital bag packed at all times, not just for childbirth. Treat every day as a potential admission day and in your car have a bag

It's May, a month I always greet with delight. What's not to love ? It's summer, it starts with a bank holiday and contains the birthdays of a lot of people I love ( myself included) . However, May also comes at a price. Yesterday evening, the last day of April, a visitor arrived in the locality....the Gentleman Farmer pulled up in a jeep and trailer and a released a huge, randy, well hung beast into the field across the road....The Bull. This signifies more than just the circle of nature. This indicates that the next few weeks will see frantic sexual activity straight across from my bedroom window....sorry...OUR bedroom window. As can be the case ( so I've heard) this is often accompanied with bawling noises going on into the night. The ensuing lack of sleep which comes with this does not only affect the poor girls in the field, but also this middle aged , less energetic member of society . It is a vicious circle. From GASP's point of view it is like live porn. W