Birds, Bees and Bull

It's May, a month I always greet with delight. What's not to love ? It's summer, it starts with a bank holiday and contains the birthdays of a lot of people I love ( myself included) . However, May also comes at a price. Yesterday evening, the last day of April, a visitor arrived in the locality....the Gentleman Farmer pulled up in a jeep and trailer and a released a huge, randy, well hung beast into the field across the road....The Bull. This signifies more than just the circle of nature. This indicates that the next few weeks will see frantic sexual activity straight across from my bedroom window....sorry...OUR bedroom window. As can be the case ( so I've heard) this is often accompanied with bawling noises going on into the night. The ensuing lack of sleep which comes with this does not only affect the poor girls in the field, but also this middle aged , less energetic member of society . It is a vicious circle.
From GASP's point of view it is like live porn. We all know how much he thinks about, dreams about and looks at livestock. Now they are at it morning, noon and night and it gives a man ideas ! The missus ( namely moi) is simultaneously unable to sleep for this 3 week period due to the aforementioned bawling...what to do ! You know exactly what he is thinking. Ordinarily , in a perfect male world, we'd get busy ( with a lot less bawling, I'll have you know!) and enjoy this 3 week frenzy, BUT in the world I live in ( reality!) where I am currently recuperating from a really crappy dose of pneumonia, this creates marital tension. GASP, in an effort to ensure that I do not return to work to early ( probably because I am a lot nicer these evenings when he comes in the back door) has suggested a "medically proven" outcome measure indicating when I am fit to return to work. It involves " full" resumption of all marital duties. Now God Bless Him, there's been a drought in this respect....2 weeks in advance of pneumonia wondering why I was so wrecked, 2 weeks in hospital sick as a dog and I am now only 2 weeks into recuperation....still banjaxed......all he has is hopes, dreams and memories, and the presence of the Bull across the road only heightens his awareness and desire....the poor man. My only hope is that, at the end of this difficult 3 week period, both GASP and the Bull are satisfied and that the girls and I will not have suffered too much :)