bigfoodiemama

So the time had come to collect my new varifocal glasses, GASP having " given the gift of sight" for Christmas. It was Christmas eve and I reluctantly headed into Specspenders, feeling slightly flat at the prospect of my Christmas gift being an indication of my advancing age and increasing disability. Well, I must have been good all year, because Santa Claus decided that , as a reward for such a practical gift, it should be delivered in gift wrap....and gift wrapped they were ! I was asked to take a seat ( yes, in the place they tell you the bad news), removed my old blurry pair of specs and a blurred individual sat in front of me ( yes I am that blind !)and handed me my new glasses. As my eyes adjusted, what came into view was a blond middle aged Australian in a Christmas t shirt, exposing his perfectly toned biceps and hairy forearms........Yeeeeeessss !!! Happy F***** days ! He leaned forward and gently adjusted my glasses, in a soft Australian accent telling me they look

The Christmas gift this year from GASP has NOT got me excited. The lovely GASP ( apart from when he says at this time of year " It's only one day!" ) very kindly suggested that he give me some money to get myself some clothes, Santa Claus kindly looking after the book, perfume, bottle of Chablis side of things. With delight I hit a well known store who have a section specifically for the 40+ age group. I have no need for designer clothing or labels but wanted a few key items for my " capsule" wardrobe. Sadly it appears that women over 40 in Ireland are deemed to have short legs as the 3 pairs of trousers I tried on flapped around my lower shins...well they would have flapped if they weren't also " slim fitting" .....What I ask is wrong with trousers being straight like they used to be as opposed to be so that I can balance my hourglass figure ( well hide parts of it anyways!) I gave up , disgusted that being 2 stone slimmer appears not to actually

OK.....synopsis from part 1 for those who missed it....Dead car, Race ran, Butt hurt, Food eaten, GASP nervous, weight stable...hormones unstable. July - Jiving With the impending local barn dances, I decided to turn my attention to jiving, a skill I wanted to learn and in the absence of running, thought it would keep me fit . I loved it and was delighted that I could now join those at weddings etc. without looking silly. This month we took our annual holiday week out of the country to Wales, to where my dear friends from college days still live, and I very proudly brought my family to their homes, where they treated us like celebrities. We got time with the Burmese Scot, my 4th sister and had a ball. The highlight for certain members of the family was the trip to Anfield , but for me it was the sheer joy of meeting up with those I hold very dear, who always make me feel loved. Thank you ! That month also saw a re union of the BMM's side of my family in Brittas Bay, which wa

So Facebook have compiled a video for me to share, apparently capturing the highlights of my year, but of course, Facebook only gets highlights, photo shopped smiley moments, so I thought I should take a look at 2016 as it actually happened. Like Christmas now starting at Halloween, I am bringing NYE forward to December 10th , as I will be far to knackered at New Year to write a blog ! 2016 - a short history January - Jaysus ! Engine of the much loved Peugeot 3008 died......€6,000 down in value overnight.....bought a Mazda....my old back hated it...had to change it for now much loved Hyundai ix35....car loan of €17,500 instead of my plan to own the Peugeot in 2016 with no car loan for the first time ever....happy f*****g days !!!***@@@ February - Feeling Fabulous Off to Dublin with the KOK's to do the Operation Transformation 5k run in the Phoenix Park in the cold and rain....was just wonderful. Met all the OT team and leaders but RTE decided that we were not fit for tele

So the Friday had finally arrived. Having previously advised The Mad One that I could not possibly pop off to Carcasonne for 48 hours in November , I was delighted I had succumbed to her insistence and was well and truly of " switching off" for 2 whole days. The Caribbean Queen had adopted my usual role of chief organiser , booking flights and driving us to the airport , checking us in online and merely handing me my boarding card when we got to the airport. The Mad One was as high as a kite and actually ran through the airport to embrace Sunshine who had come by bus from the sunny south east. Off through security we went and 5 minutes later were sipping Vodka and Tonics , toasting our much needed break and trying not to cry with child like excitement. 2 hours later we were in Carcassonne having been subjected to a Ryanair Learner Pilots landing , causing the Mad One to utter a very loud four letter expletive on hitting the ground....trust me no one clapped the pilot on this

I am an extrovert. This is not a shock to most people. I love being around people, get energy from those who are equally positive and happy, and am inspired to work by getting others together, with a view to making something better, making a difference or helping others out. No, I am not a version of Mother Teresa...my previous blogs should make you well aware of that ! The thing I have in common with other extroverts though is the fact that when we meet negativity, when others fail to appreciate our efforts or when we are met with obstacles to what we think are simple quick wins, our stress levels increase, our energy drops and the gregarious sociable happy funny one pulls away, becomes quite introvert and develops a pessimistic outlook . Recently bigfoodiemama's energy took a nosedive. It's kinda hard for others to tell when this happens, as I pride myself on a strong ability to " fake it" , as GASP could testify ! I can turn on the smile, put on a show and give t

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Thursday night was the last official night of GAA training at the local pitch and, in droves, the under 6's, 8's, 10's and 12's arrived, with rumour rife among them that there was to be PIZZA ! On a cool but dry evening the community was abuzz with excited children, cheerful coaches, much relieved mentors and busy club committee members. Hubby and I traveled up together to support and cheer and catch up on some chat with the other parents, membership of your local GAA club being the key to feeling part of it all and accepted when you swoop in from a foreign parish. As GASP strolled over to some of the fathers I chatted happily to The Ban Garda , Cowgirl Caitriona and the Sheep Yeaner . " Training " commenced, but on this special night, was basically fun filled kicking around with the children competing against both their own age group, but also their coaches. Next thing, I know, like the trailer for the Magnificent Seven, GASP sauntered past gesturing to The

So, having missed the past 2 weeks spinning class, at which one of the KOK's actually nearly died ( apparently), I arrived down this evening to Rapid Ronan's full of vigor and enthusiasm . As it is now officially Autumn, I wore my 3/4 length leggings, and happily marched over to my usual bike. I was greatly concerned, when I had to draw in my breath completely to get between the bikes and wondered if I had gained a stone, until Cantering Clare and MILF Mullarkey confirmed that Rapid had moved the bikes closer together....probably his idea of a joke ! The class was great apart from some dodgy music choices and Cantering Clare remarked that she was sweating so much her glasses were fogging up. " What ?" asked MILF, claiming her hearing was a bit off. Between those two I sat, unable to speak, so we formed the spinning version of "See no evil, Speak no evil, Hear no Evil" . I was concerned for the KOK's behind due to my consumption of Saag Aloo curry for te

Apologies, loyal followers but the past 3 weeks have been crazy...short synopsis.....dog bite, threatened heart attack, Mickey Mouse, football, spinning, Dublin, Paris, KOK night out, massive pumpkins, partying with the Burmese Scot, working alot, sleeping...not enough, celebrating the FA's birthday, missing Victor Meldrew's birthday and the usual smattering of wakes and masses. October brings with it a renewed sense of the need for a little more down time, a little more head space, a little less eating and alot more exercise. The right butt pain has finally settled so I am resuming C25K at the end of week 3 and am hoping and praying that a slow progression back to 5 k will not aggravate it. The only limiting factor of my training is the sporting and social life of my children.....swimming,soccer, Gaelic and singing see Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays " booked". On these nights GASP and I pass like ships in the night, following frantic evening meal prep

I've always thought that people who choose Spinning as an activity should be committed. Why on earth would anyone subject themselves to sweating profusely on a bike going nowhere, with a rock hard saddle assaulting you and someone shouting at you ?? You'd have to be out of your mind .....so, last Tuesday night Bigfoodiemama went Spinning. Rapid Ronan, king of the spinners, very kindly laid on a new beginners class for the KOK's and the other spaces were filled by folks we mostly knew and the rest we will, of course, know very well, very soon. Rapid looked at me nervously but kindly on my arrival in my padded cycling shorts. I had bought them earlier in the day on the advice of my work colleagues, who looked at me in astonishment as I told them of my plans and advised me that a) I would not enjoy it, b) it would hurt and c) they really could not find anything positive to say about spinning. They did advise the padded shorts so I headed off to Sports World and bought a size

It has taken me a week to get to the point of writing this blog as I have not been able to sit down since last week ! Not that I was busy " not able to sit down" but actually physically not able to sit down . As I had mentioned in my last post, I was heading off to the Hoedown in Lobinstown last Saturday night, following my 5 weeks of jiving lessons. The Dancing Cowboy approached GASP and I on arrival and again asked if I would enter the jiving competition. GASP immediately moved away as did the next 3 people I asked. I had a wee Merlot and approached the Dancing Cowboy, advising him that I would happily enter the competition but I could not source a partner. " Come with me" he uttered and he fought through the crowd to a group of 4 young men ( 25 - 32 I reckon) who looked at me as if I were some friend of their mothers. " Where is he ?" asked the Dancing Cowboy. Looking at me again, they indicated a cream battered cowboy hat in the distance. The Dancing C

There is a serious buzz around the parish. It started a few weeks ago when news of this years barn dance hit social media. Before the women had even started to wonder if you could wear the same cowboy hat two years running, the local GAA club announced it was holding Jiving lessons ! Perfect. The KOK's and I were delighted as we like keeping fit and dancing and jiving ticks all the boxes. We enrolled immediately and over the past 5 weeks , under the tuition of the Passionate Parkers ( PP's) , learned how to jive...imagine ! The first night I was partnered with Twinkletoes, which proved a little silly, as she is a lot shorter than me and generously chose to " be the man" leading me to have crick in my neck in the middle of the night. After that I shared myself around the room, dancing with one of the PP's, Transformation Tracey and Fluffy Duffy. Last week I got lucky though, as one of the local ladies had a football game, leaving her husband to dance alone....or s

So GASP and I had the pleasure of listening to a radio programme yesterday examining why couples argue, the theory being that we all have different reasons. The presenter, however, felt that all arguments came down to one basic issue i.e. the division of tasks in the home, particularly in the case of the couples who both go out to work....I say " go out to work" as staying home with children is " staying home to work even harder !" Having giggled the whole way through the broadcast as every little row we had ever had being described,( and my having cooked everyone's breakfast......) we headed off to the under 8 football blitz on a gorgeous sunny morning. Numerous conversations take place on the sidelines of these local events, so when The Chicken Man joined us, I mentioned the programme, to which he immediately mentioned the apparently universal issue that he had of women ( he only mentioned his wife but let's face facts, we all know what he meant !) bein

So the Mad One and I headed off to a local Slimming World class, a little distance away, as only Wednesday evenings suited us both, and not, as per local rumour, that the Mad One had been banned from the one in the town. I had noticed on the way over to our first weigh in that the Mad One was in fine spirits, which usually leads to an entertaining evening, and even she herself asked that I stop her if she " overshared". I did wonder how I might actually do this, as once she is in full stride, it's not an easy feat ! My 3 lb weight loss was the first one announced and the Mad One whooped and hollered like a cowgirl. I advised the gathered group that I was delighted with this, as I had not been " all good" for the week, at which point the Mad One advised the room that I had been off for a " dirty night away" ! They sniggered as I explained that the only " dirty" element were the two dirty great glasses of red wine I enjoyed with my pasta dish.

I have a seat needs some attention. The upholstery is faded, saggy and loose and the stuffing, which ,at some point, I am sure was firm and supportive is now a bit skimpy, lacking and quite hard to sit on. With refurbishment in mind, GASP approached it first...well I thought it only fair before I farmed it out. He drove his elbow into it in an effort to loosen up the stuffing but to little lasting effect. He suggested turning over and approaching from a different angle, but he was only getting excited. Marcus Aurelius , happily stuck 4 inch needles in it, which I quite enjoyed to be honest, but I was still not completely satisfied. I thought about Rapid Ronan with a view to his slightly sadistic approach of putting it on a static bicycle and going hell for leather until the bulk improved, but reckoned it might actually kill me. Alot of women swear by him though. Then I happened across a wee ad on Facebook from none other than my all time favourite man for the job...yes , you guessed

There is a brothel out the back of our house. About 8 females inhabit it, 2 madams and their 6 young ladies. There are two male pimps known as Big Fat Norman and Batman, who visit frequently just to observe or occasionally, no doubt, based on the squeals and screams, to sample the goods. Activity fluctuates on a daily basis, as not all the ladies are there at one time....but when they are it is mostly playful but, women being women, it can turn vicious and occasionally someone gets hurt. I constantly feel the need to step in, but GASP advises me strongly against this citing nature and it being " just the way of the world" and so I remain an interested caring observer. One of the ladies however is very skinny, looks very frail and, in my opinion, needs rescuing, I noticed a particularly rough altercation with Big Fat Norman earlier and wanted to jump straight in but held back for fear of even more trouble. " I love an underdog" I said to GASP, who is quite frankly a

My second ride was much more comfortable as Prince Albert pumped me up, greased my balls and lit me up.....and all while MILF looked on ! I was truly delighted that my bottom seemed to have survived the initial ride without undue discomfort, but as I lowered myself back onto my saddle, a bruised feeling emanated from my nethers and it took a little time before I considered myself comfortably mounted. MILF, Twinkle Toes and I decided on a flat 20k route and on a beautiful evening rode out in the sunshine towards the vision that is Carrickmacross . MILF and I took the lead, a bit surprised that Twinkle Toes was lagging a bit behind. We gave her the benefit of the doubt due to a recent bad injury and slowed to let her catch up a couple of times, delighted that she was back in our company and wishing her a speedy return to full fitness. Turns out her apparent slowness was due to the fact that she was in completely the wrong gear and for every single rotation we made with our pedals Twinkl

OK, so the knee is improving and the pain in my butt slowly decreasing. The time had come to get back into training, but in the knowledge that a slow re entry was required, so as to prevent any further injury. Oh boy did I need to get out ! The 5 weeks enforced rest had seen a decline in my good humour and an inversely proportional increase in my perceived level of flabbiness. Saturday last, I took to the local football pitch while youngest son was training and walked happily at speed for a few laps, and it felt great. Two nights later I hit the pitch again but managed a small amount of running without any ill effect. I was delighted. One of the KOK's has a dodgy knee at present and another wanted a different challenge, so last night we took to the bypass on our bicycles, helmets securely fastened and buttocks clenching the firm, slender black saddles. Nervously we took to the road, but gradually our confidence increased, our bums went numb and we happily cycled 15k while chatting.

So The Ambassadrice as celebrating, not only moving into her lovepad with The Hairy Man, but also the monumental moment in life that is turning 30 ! The Mad One and I aged considerably just at the thought that the "baby" was now, undeniably a fully fledged adult and felt that , in order not to embarrass her at her party, we would need to out in extra effort to look fabulous.....( a lot of effort ! ) In the knowledge that BMM and The Scot could also do with a lick of paint, we booked in for an afternoon chez Dylan Bradshaw, so that, at the very least, our faces and gruaig would be bang on trend. Off we set for the big smoke, in the Mad Ones fancy new 7 seater...it will only be fancy for a short time, so we are taking advantage of it's current state of cleanliness before her brood let loose and redecorate the interior with crisps, chicken nuggets and all matter of flora and fauna ! As we exited the car to toddle down the street to our appointment, the Heavens opened and we

"I have no idea what I am doing as this is the first time I have actually accessed, let alone create a blog. Let me introduce the big foodie mama. I am one week overdue my second child, hence the big and mama part and the other mainstay of my life is food, reading about it, eating it, discussing it and thinking about it. I thought a blog might be a good idea during my maternity leave so that I will have contact with the outside world and hope that it might stop my brain from shrinking...here's hoping. I have a hopeful/funny feeling that my next blog might allow me to introduce baby no. 2 but will have to wait and see as there are no signs as yet. Will be in touch Big Foodie Mama x x " 5 and a half years ago this is how I started my blog. Tonight I write my 200th post and this post will see me hit the dizzy heights of 31,000 views . I truly cannot believe it. Hilariously, I started the blog to keep in touch with the outside world, yet my second post did not come u

What was I thinking ? Some time ago, in order to mark and celebrate the completion of the Boyne 10k, I took the lead ( nothing new there!) and booked a night away for the KOK's in wonderful Wicklow. A trip to Avon Ri on the lake in Blessington was booked for Friday 13th ( I should have known!) The Mad One and I have had the pleasure of staying there on quite a few occasions thanks to Fat Freddie, and it is an oasis of peace, fresh air and beauty in crazy world. Of course, I suggested that we were going to complete the Wicklow Walkway a gorgeous 6.5 k route by the lake, but it appears that the KOK's are seeing it as a whole 24 hours away from the stresses of life and have got as excited as kids going to Lapland. I had underestimated how lively women in a mid life crisis get and the prospect of a night away. They have gone mad. Mighty Martha thought Avon Ri was a French name so it is now being known as The Trip to France.....the European Championships have nothing on this. The d

This time last year, all I desired was a Michael Kors handbag. Due to feigning near death a few weeks beforehand I duly got the most magnificent MK bag, which I adore and treasure. What a difference a year makes...no Monola's for me , no Jimmy Choo...all I wanted were new trainers for my birthday from The Run Hub, a specialist store for runners.....yes I know...HYSTERICAL ! Those who have known me for the past 45 years have no idea who I am, how I think or what on Earth has happened to their occasionally blue, couch, food and comfort loving friend...alien abduction has been quoted as a possible reason. I duly headed off to The Run Hub from work, conscious of the fact that I would look a bit of " non runner" in my dress and heels, I changed into capri leggings, luminous pink running top and my old trainers, wanting to totally look the part ( of a peri menopausal woman in amid life crisis !) I parked in the car park below the centre and left my handbag in the car as handb