Saddle Sore and Purple Snacks

So, having missed the past 2 weeks spinning class, at which one of the KOK's actually nearly died ( apparently), I arrived down this evening to Rapid Ronan's full of vigor and enthusiasm . As it is now officially Autumn, I wore my 3/4 length leggings, and happily marched over to my usual bike. I was greatly concerned, when I had to draw in my breath completely to get between the bikes and wondered if I had gained a stone, until Cantering Clare and MILF Mullarkey confirmed that Rapid had moved the bikes closer together....probably his idea of a joke ! The class was great apart from some dodgy music choices and Cantering Clare remarked that she was sweating so much her glasses were fogging up. " What ?" asked MILF, claiming her hearing was a bit off. Between those two I sat, unable to speak, so we formed the spinning version of "See no evil, Speak no evil, Hear no Evil" . I was concerned for the KOK's behind due to my consumption of Saag Aloo curry for tea, but managed to hold it in. This was assisted by the reflex clenching of my flabby buttocks, when they hit the saddle, reminding me immediately that I had forgotten to don cycling shorts, so I will still be feeling this class for some time !
After class I followed MILF and Cantering home to MILF's home to check up on Prince Albert ( who had actually nearly died ) and gratefully accepted the offer of a cup of tea. Like a true Slimming World champion , MILF provided snacks consisting of SW bars, Curly Wurly's and the famous much loved Purple Snack. With great delight and a mere 5 syns at stake, we each took a purple snack. With great delight I tore open the packaging and immediately bit off the top 1/3 of the bar. I glanced up to see my fellow KOK's slowly and carefully nibbling around the side of theirs, savoring every moment . MILF advised me that she would first nibble around the edges, would then lick the top and bottom off and only then would bite in. I realised what a lucky man Prince Albert is, as any woman that can hold off for that long in pursuit of pleasure is indeed the wife to have. I however am into instant gratification, so may have to rethink my purple snack strategy.......lucky GASP !