Mad Mamma Mia

Last Friday night i headed I headed to the cinema with BMM and The Mad One to see Mamma Mia..Here we go again. There is no need for a spoiler alert as the trailer gives away anything I might mention so it's safe to keep reading ! Going to the cinema with the Mad One is a 5D experience. It is literally an assault on all your senses which is hilarious, as the moment she sat down in Screen 2, she commented on how loud everyone else was chatting through the ads and movie previews. This gave me hope that I might have a peaceful evening ahead...wrong ! I sat back with my 3 scoops of Maud's ice cream relaxed into my plush seat delighted to be seeing a movie which was not a cartoon. About 1.2 seconds later it started...The Mad One leaned over toward my seat until her bare upper arm was resting against mine. She giggled out loud, in the knowledge ( 47 years of knowledge) that I absolutely hate the brush of anyone's bare flesh....well anyone not married to me or whom I have not given birth to ! I immediately leaned to my left only for her to lean even further over until I could not escape. She smiled knowingly, sister-bitchily and creepily at me, I gave her the "mad 10 year old sisters" sharp elbow poke in the ribs and settled back again stuck to the left hand side of my seat to ( hopefully) enjoy the film.
The cinema hushed and the largely middle aged female audience settled in. The arrival of Andy Garcia on the screen led to The Mad One uttering a loud guttural sexual groan causing numerous titters of laughter around us. She settled down again but about 20 minutes into the film as the scenes moved from past to present she leaned over and loudly ( she simply cannot whisper) asked me to explain what was happening as she was " completely confused". In hushed tones, I swiftly clarified the situation and AGAIN re settled myself. Needless to say, she sang all the words of the songs, but I could cope with this, as so did most other people...Mind you, The Mad One does a jiggly dance in her seated position( leading her bare flesh to again TOUCH me....urgh ! ). On we went and then the legend who is Cher appeared on screen and, within minutes, began to sing. At this point The Mad One, in a very loud voice (and in total seriousness !??!) asked " Has she had plastic surgery ?" The women behind us got their best laugh of the night from this query.
In truth I should be grateful ,as having endured aural, physical and psychological assault, my nasal passages were , for once, left alone, as The Mad One's normally flatulent system apparently responds well to nachos with cheese sauce...who knew ! The movie, which truthfully, only played Best Supporting Actress to my sister was simply wonderful and we left the cinema with smiles on her faces....unlike Cher !