Doghouse !

GASP is on the doghouse ! Interestingly enough I don't think he is aware of the fact, but needless to say my tone and expression will make it evident in the very near future . OK from the start. Thanks to Weight Watchers I have lost 12 pounds in weight and a dress size. I am truly thrilled with my progress and think I am fabulous ! ( I think this most of the time thank God so I am even more fabulous than usual) The person I most want to be fabulous for is, in fact ,GASP. We are invited to the evening of a wedding in a few weeks, my first posh night out in forever so I am really looking forward to glamming up my new figure. I have arranged the babysitter already and was going to wear an LBD I nicked off the Mad One. This evening I tried it on, in front of GASP only to find....to my delight....that it is too big. Normally I would have it taken in by the Seamstress but as it belongs to the Mad One, that would be a bit chancy. GASP in a moment of " oh my God no, she is going to want to buy something" said "sure, you can wear the green dress" I explained this was not an option as it is a full length ball gown....a tad over the top for a bop after a wedding. " You have loads of dresses" he then tried, the sweat coming out on his brow at the thought of my going on a shopping spree. In a moment of clarity I remembered a great LBAWD (little black and white dress) I have not fitted in to for 2 years. I hunted it out and slipped into it, asking GASP to do up the last bit of zip. The zip went up and although I had the wrong bra on, the dress looked great.I twirled in front of the full length mirror in delight, delighted I had all the accessories I needed and would be looking good on the night. Then it happened. GASP said the fateful words " sure you'll be grand in that if you put on a pair of those magic knickers"......MOTHER OF GOD ! So so wrong
For those male readers of this blog this is how it should go.
Wife in dress too large = " Darling that's far too big on you now that you've lost all that weight"
Wife in dress she has not fitted into in 2 years = "Well done darling, you look amazing.....fancy a s**g ? "
GASP is unaware that he was actually on a promise before this marriage threatening incident. He is also unaware that I was suffering serious guilt pangs, having bought some very beautiful but quite expensive underwear for our night out. THE GUILT IS GONE..........AS IS THE PROMISE !