Feeling a right knob !
As you now know, after 3 weeks of mayhem I was sooooo looking forward to hitting the couch last night . The dinner was going to be a simple affair of fish cakes and oven chips, Fat Freddie and the eldest being given steaks I had found in the freezer. I put in the chips and fish cakes in my lovely shining new oven and pan fried the steaks, serving FF and the eldest first and advising GASP to take a seat as his fish cakes were just cooking. I opened the oven to find the oven chips floppy and merely defrosted and no hot air fogged up my glasses. I realised the oven fan was on but no heat was forthcoming. I twiddled the knob but nothing happened. I took out the manual, rechecked it was not on auto, turned it off and back on, swore, twiddled the knob a bit more and declared in full hormonal fashion that the bloody thing had a fault. For some reason, I thought the fish cakes were hot so gave them to GASP who ate them, saying nothing and I advised him I would give him the chips later,once I'd worked it out . As he was approaching the back door to go stroke his bullocks GASP turned and asked " Are ya sure you're pushing the right buttons ?" I WENT BUBONIC ! " Pushing the right buttons....you are now pushing my buttons....what the F*** do you mean,......I used this oven yesterday for your roast pork dinner you bastard...get the F*** out ! " Fat Freddie was giggling at his son in laws total stupidity and that fact he had just witnessed a man take his life in his own hands.
Later in the evening I googled, registered my oven for the warranty and got the phone number for Bosch, who I planned to give a piece of my demented mind to in the morning. GASP had some toast later in the evening as his tea was not exactly satisfying. On rising this morning, I tried the oven again...same thing...all fan and light but no heat. FFS !!! I contacted the customer services, advised the man, who reckoned the knob itself must be faulty but that this was VERY unusual in a 3 week old appliance. He booked a service engineer for me and I set to frying the Saturday morning full Irish. I suddenly thought I'd better check the top oven which was doing exactly the same thing, so phoned them back on the mobile in order to let them know it might be a bigger issue. A lady answered and while on the phone to her explaining the situation, I was stood directly in front of the oven....as I spoke to her, I realised I had turned on the lower oven but had tried to increase the temperature using the control for the upper oven and vice versa.......I coughed, asked her not to laugh and explained to her I had been twiddling with the wrong knob...story of my effin life ! She had the decency not to laugh, cancelled the service engineer and I put down the phone red faced and feeling a little stupid. Just then GASP walked in and asked if I had contacted customer service........very very sheepishly I advised him that I MIGHT have been fiddling with the wrong knob ( "pushing the wrong button "). GASP nearly danced in joy, put on that bicycle building smug face and said "I'll bet you won't write a blog about that !" ( Apparently the fish cakes were stone cold but he was bright enough not to mention it at the time !)
Later in the evening I googled, registered my oven for the warranty and got the phone number for Bosch, who I planned to give a piece of my demented mind to in the morning. GASP had some toast later in the evening as his tea was not exactly satisfying. On rising this morning, I tried the oven again...same thing...all fan and light but no heat. FFS !!! I contacted the customer services, advised the man, who reckoned the knob itself must be faulty but that this was VERY unusual in a 3 week old appliance. He booked a service engineer for me and I set to frying the Saturday morning full Irish. I suddenly thought I'd better check the top oven which was doing exactly the same thing, so phoned them back on the mobile in order to let them know it might be a bigger issue. A lady answered and while on the phone to her explaining the situation, I was stood directly in front of the oven....as I spoke to her, I realised I had turned on the lower oven but had tried to increase the temperature using the control for the upper oven and vice versa.......I coughed, asked her not to laugh and explained to her I had been twiddling with the wrong knob...story of my effin life ! She had the decency not to laugh, cancelled the service engineer and I put down the phone red faced and feeling a little stupid. Just then GASP walked in and asked if I had contacted customer service........very very sheepishly I advised him that I MIGHT have been fiddling with the wrong knob ( "pushing the wrong button "). GASP nearly danced in joy, put on that bicycle building smug face and said "I'll bet you won't write a blog about that !" ( Apparently the fish cakes were stone cold but he was bright enough not to mention it at the time !)
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