bigfoodiemama

The Christmas gift this year from GASP has NOT got me excited. The lovely GASP ( apart from when he says at this time of year " It's only one day!" ) very kindly suggested that he give me some money to get myself some clothes, Santa Claus kindly looking after the book, perfume, bottle of Chablis side of things. With delight I hit a well known store who have a section specifically for the 40+ age group. I have no need for designer clothing or labels but wanted a few key items for my " capsule" wardrobe. Sadly it appears that women over 40 in Ireland are deemed to have short legs as the 3 pairs of trousers I tried on flapped around my lower shins...well they would have flapped if they weren't also " slim fitting" .....What I ask is wrong with trousers being straight like they used to be as opposed to be so that I can balance my hourglass figure ( well hide parts of it anyways!) I gave up , disgusted that being 2 stone slimmer appears not to actually...

T.W.I.N.C. has decided he quite likes his new name, but did advise me to google it's meaning...I duly googled TWINK only to find it referred to a slender young man, the term stemming ( no pun intended) from the "golden coloured phallic-shaped snack cake, the "Twinkie", known for being of little nutritional value, sweet to the taste and creme filled, memorable more for it's outer packaging as opposed to it's inner depth....I rest my case :) Last Wednesday night T.W.I.N.C. was in great form ( Wednesdays are always better than Mondays) As I lay snivelling on the floor about to leap up beside the Honey Monster, T.W.I.N.C. yelled "Finger Him". This followed his instruction to Macho Martha and The One Legged Scot earlier in the evening to "give me sex, two pumps and a squirt". Cautiously ( still recovering from the previous weeks " pick a window /bowl of brave incident")T.W.I.N.C. suggested that Macho might smile and look to attract h...