Farewell forties...

Dear Friend,
I hope this final blog of my 40's finds you healthy, safe and happy. I thought I would take the opportunity of this quieter life in “COVID 19 lockdown” to let you pass a few minutes wondering about my mental health, which thankfully is just fine surprisingly enough ( not that you will think so by the end of this blog) . I think it might be due to the Coaching qualification I did a couple of years ago but I am far more “zen” than I normally would be. I use a wee tool I learned about called the CIA i.e. What I can Control, Influence and Accept and to this day it has kept me quite sane…mind you GASP may have another view ! This Coronavirus has certainly made us all stop and think. We are fine thankfully at present. Having spent some years advising GASP of how important my job was in a Hospital, with great delight he now boasts a letter determining that, as an oil lorry driver, he is actual essential too! We are very aware that our jobs put us at a higher risk as we are mixing with more people (although we are very careful about social distancing) but are very grateful that we have work and can work, as we know so many people who have no option but to remain at home and have taken a financial hit, so we are certainly lucky. Having read that paragraph I sound like I am on something……I'll leave that with you !
One month today , I will hopefully be 50 and crazily, all I want to be now is 51 ….how unimportant now are all the little plans I had made or had been very kindly made for me. GASP and I were due be sitting in a hot tub with a bottle of bubbly in a posh spa the first week in May but I would be equally happy right now in the garden with a beer and some friends who are open to hugging . Currently I am sharing my days between the minute by minute changing situation in the hospital, which is frantically busy and then quiet, peaceful , very pleasant days at home with the boys. Eldest and Youngest sons have adapted brilliantly to their situation, both being delighted not to be at school, happy to explore Netflix and Disney plus ( Eldest is on Marvel movie number 17 now out of 21 !) Having finished “The Crown” and “The English Game”, I have moved onto “The Kominsky Method” with Alan Arkin and Michael Douglas and I love it as it makes me laugh out loud ! “I Tonya” was brilliant and “Last Christmas” a joy . GASP is immersed in “Heartland” , which the rest of us can’t stand as it is basically a modern day western. Our walks and cycles in the 2km radius are a pleasure as we are in the countryside and we have embraced daily exercise, for our heads and hearts, on the myriad of routes we have discovered.
In an effort to try to equally mix screens with homework and exercise, I scheduled in a session of Chair Yoga for all of us one evening and you can just imagine the response, but I reckoned it would be a giggle on a rainy night. Youngest whinged the whole way through it, GASP quietly did it with terrible posture and Eldest is far more flexible that I thought he would be …I am off to find one to funky music next…I did find one to “Staying Alive” hosted by an octogenarian but I don’t think I will get that one past them .
They are blissfully unaware that I have plans for Pilates, Zumba and PE with Joe Wicks !
GASP's Mum and my parents are “ cocooning” brilliantly, having totally accepted that it just has to be, and they are well and perfectly content. Mind you Fat Freddie did ask that I did not give him any more of a particular Carbonara as “ the chicken was a bit tough” but reckoned “ that stuff made from the sprouts was fab “…Brussels pate’ ……. BMM is tackling the garden of her new home back in the village of Slane, having moved last September and has worked out how to have fruit, veg, meds, and milk delivered to her door……she lives next door to the Gardai so I am not worried about her. MIL, GASP's Mum , is happily talking to everyone on the telephone and just signed off to me saying “ see you in a month” .
I must admit to finding parts of this strange period of time an absolute pleasure. I love not having to juggle things, race from one spot to another and quickly prepare meals before flying out the door again. Now dinners are nicer, better quality and slow, meals eaten in a more leisurely fashion …quite often with a game of “ Who am I” at the table and there is no exact time we have to eat . I struggle with “ Who am I “ regularly coming last but I blame that on the quality of knowledge of my 3 male team mates, who last week thought Adele was 50, leading me totally astray…the poor girl is 33 !
I have been reading a lot…at the moment Jennifer Saunders autobiography and a Jo Spain thriller but I also downloaded Pressreader and am devouring all the back issues of Good Food magazine, thanks to my library card. I am baking to beat the band and loving it , but whereas normally I did not feel the need to sample my goods, I am now nibbling and adding some tension to my waistbands .
In a moment of madness, I promised Youngest I would make the Chocolate Cookie Dough, Ganache topped, cheesecake on the front of the Easter Good Food magazine so, in every “ emergency” trip to the local supermarket is included a couple of the ridiculous very high fat content ingredients. I have no doubt it will be legendary but may also signal my decline into Type 2 Diabetes .
My greatest task at the moment is to appear totally and utterly calm, confident and in control ( the glass of Merlot I have just consumed is certainly helping) . I am managing but also struggling to tolerate those who are flapping over totally inconsequential things...ho hum !
The kids have decided that they can break Lent now , based on my mid week consumption of Merlot but, as I pointed out to them...they are not "managing a global pandemic" , so there will be no fizzy drinks until April 12th ! GASP, the Lenten “ I have given up everything” champion is losing a pound for every one I gain , so we are slowly turning into Jack Spratt and his wife.
So, 3 weeks in, I am sane if not sober, the boys are happy if not quite active enough, my husband is an essential service who is getting skinnier and I am a slightly demented manager in a hospital gaining weight and a grey hairline !
As one of my readers , please know that I count you among my friends and care about your wellbeing. Stay healthy and well and safe and hopefully bigfoodiemama will cross the 50 line and will be with you, older but wiser in the future.

P.S The last 10 years have been a blast. I am truly grateful for GASP and my boys. A fortune teller once advised me that I would never be rich but always " comfortable" and that I would always have to work ...I thought this sounded like a curse but it has turned out to be a privilege. Both my family and I are better because I work, which in turn keeps us " comfortable" . GASP welcomes my being bigfoodiemama and all the madness and fun which comes with it and I love that he allows me to also just sit quietly and be still. I pull him out of his introvert comfort zone into situations he never thought he would see/experience and when I get too giddy he quietens the extrovert in me so that I can relax, recover and then start all over again. The blog has afforded me the chance to share my stories with all of you and hopefully bigfoodiemama the 50's sequel will be as exciting a journey
Lots of love x BFM