bigfoodiemama

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So last night, GASP and the Mad One happily agreed that I should accompany the Spud Farmer to the official launch of the SCD DVD. Due to an incident involving my having gone to Zumba 3 weeks ago with MILF Mullarkey, I offered to drive, as I am on a cocktail of medication for back pain as a result of Twerking and Body Rolling. It may suit the physique of Miley Cyrus and Barry Buttocks, but not this 44 year old mother of 2 !I should have been able to work out what kind of evening it would be when the pint of Heineken post showed up on our SCD private Facebook page, and the fact that numerous dancers were planning pre drinking drinks..... The Spud Farmer arrived out to my car clad in the standard Spud Farmer attire of creased jeans, checked shirt and the affluent farmer adjunct of a Tommy Hilfiger canvas jacket. I was in my flat shoes as back pain and heels don't mix, so at least I knew my feet would survive what was to come. The Spud Farmer advised me early on that the night would go...

T.W.I.N.C. has decided he quite likes his new name, but did advise me to google it's meaning...I duly googled TWINK only to find it referred to a slender young man, the term stemming ( no pun intended) from the "golden coloured phallic-shaped snack cake, the "Twinkie", known for being of little nutritional value, sweet to the taste and creme filled, memorable more for it's outer packaging as opposed to it's inner depth....I rest my case :) Last Wednesday night T.W.I.N.C. was in great form ( Wednesdays are always better than Mondays) As I lay snivelling on the floor about to leap up beside the Honey Monster, T.W.I.N.C. yelled "Finger Him". This followed his instruction to Macho Martha and The One Legged Scot earlier in the evening to "give me sex, two pumps and a squirt". Cautiously ( still recovering from the previous weeks " pick a window /bowl of brave incident")T.W.I.N.C. suggested that Macho might smile and look to attract h...