Don't look behind
So, last Thursday, the decision was made by the Mad One that the Spud Farmer was to take her to "Finally all there " Bogger's bar in the local town.Thursday, quite frankly a ridiculous night to go out, was chosen due to the 2 for 1 cocktail promotion. I was confident I could survive in that I was going to be driving, so Fridays work would be manageable.Then GASP suggested he would come with me immediately doubling, and very quickly trebbling my planned consumption. GASP is not a man for pubs, as a non drinker, so I reckon he was metaphorically "peeing up my leg", possibly a little concerned that I was about to elope with a fellow dancer....women of my age need to be watched !
This led to a conversation at work with the young ones, in regard to what does a 40 something woman wear to a pub for a 2-4-1 cocktail night in a rural town. The advice was "jeans, heels and a nice top", so after work I popped down to Dunnes to get a new pair of fitted jeans, as following my recent weight loss, I did not have a pair which would do the job. I brought the jeans home and on trying them on realised in that moment, what I had actually lost. You see, I'd got used to it being there, got used to it being there behind me, supportive, part of me and enjoyed by me. I thought Strictly was the key to everything, that it would deliver me from that which I dreaded most, would keep me from losing it and make me proud of my achievement....but no...... my arse was GONE !!!!! I had turned into one of those women who puts on a pair of jeans and checks their rear in the mirror, only to find the twin mounds of a youthful bottom have been replaced by a wide flat plain. I had become a middle aged bum, a soggy bottom and an embarrassment to denim......horror !
I placed the jeans back in the bag, the fact that they were big on the waist being of little consolation, in the midst of such a huge personal loss. I spent time on my make up, defined my brows, put in my lenses , touched up my fake tan, blow dried my coloured hair , hung on earrings and went for heels and cleavage in order to deflect all attention from my butt. Yes, I looked good, but under the loose folds of my emerald green top I knew there was a pancake where a bottom used to be. I started with a Cosmopolitan, followed by a Long Island Iced Tea, then a Flirtini, Black Russian, Pina Colada and then Sex on the Beach.......it made sense at the time ( that and the fact it was 2 cocktails for €6.50 !!!!!) Slowly surrounded by all my Strictly buddies I began to forget what I had lost and saw what I had gained. Bridget Jones knickers...€20, Bum and Thigh lifting Jeans € 100, Butt Implants € 2000.....friends like these....priceless :)
P.S. To all of you who thought you had missed a very controversial blog on the SCD site......Calamity Ali and MILF Mullarkey are guilty of gross misconduct ( aided and abetted by 5 foot 4, the Body Poppin Postman and the Proprietor of the KAC Shack!!!!! ) All you missed was a great photo of the Mad One and Me sipping our cocktails.
This led to a conversation at work with the young ones, in regard to what does a 40 something woman wear to a pub for a 2-4-1 cocktail night in a rural town. The advice was "jeans, heels and a nice top", so after work I popped down to Dunnes to get a new pair of fitted jeans, as following my recent weight loss, I did not have a pair which would do the job. I brought the jeans home and on trying them on realised in that moment, what I had actually lost. You see, I'd got used to it being there, got used to it being there behind me, supportive, part of me and enjoyed by me. I thought Strictly was the key to everything, that it would deliver me from that which I dreaded most, would keep me from losing it and make me proud of my achievement....but no...... my arse was GONE !!!!! I had turned into one of those women who puts on a pair of jeans and checks their rear in the mirror, only to find the twin mounds of a youthful bottom have been replaced by a wide flat plain. I had become a middle aged bum, a soggy bottom and an embarrassment to denim......horror !
I placed the jeans back in the bag, the fact that they were big on the waist being of little consolation, in the midst of such a huge personal loss. I spent time on my make up, defined my brows, put in my lenses , touched up my fake tan, blow dried my coloured hair , hung on earrings and went for heels and cleavage in order to deflect all attention from my butt. Yes, I looked good, but under the loose folds of my emerald green top I knew there was a pancake where a bottom used to be. I started with a Cosmopolitan, followed by a Long Island Iced Tea, then a Flirtini, Black Russian, Pina Colada and then Sex on the Beach.......it made sense at the time ( that and the fact it was 2 cocktails for €6.50 !!!!!) Slowly surrounded by all my Strictly buddies I began to forget what I had lost and saw what I had gained. Bridget Jones knickers...€20, Bum and Thigh lifting Jeans € 100, Butt Implants € 2000.....friends like these....priceless :)
P.S. To all of you who thought you had missed a very controversial blog on the SCD site......Calamity Ali and MILF Mullarkey are guilty of gross misconduct ( aided and abetted by 5 foot 4, the Body Poppin Postman and the Proprietor of the KAC Shack!!!!! ) All you missed was a great photo of the Mad One and Me sipping our cocktails.
Love it lol but despite the absent arse, well done La, very proud of you xxx
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