Schedule....what schedule ?

Week 2. I was ready. I had the schedule learned off by heart so was looking forward (?) to running for 1.5 minutes followed by a 2 minute walk and repeating that 6 times….do-able ! The Mad One had not re appeared since AC/DC citing a football blitz or the like, so off I went tout seul to continue my journey towards the 5 k. I entered the Fair Green via the ramp behind 3 ladies who were coming for the first time. They were warmly greeted by a friend of theirs who said “ It’s F*****g TORTURE…your first night could be your last !” So much for encouragement.
I was expecting to see Gentle Gary, but instead the Silver Fox and Little Big Horn took charge. The Silver Fox warmed us up….bit too much jogging for my like… I was saving my energy for God’s sake….. before Little Big Horn took charge sounding the air horn to mark the change from run to walk. I was doing alright, but noticed the 2 minute walk felt more like 1 minute….because it was only 1 minute….had no one read the schedule ??? I managed to continue counting my runs until I reached the magic 6 number. Preparing to stroll my last minute to the finish I heard a shout from Little Big Horn “only two more runs!” WTF !!!! I waited for one of the 150 to suggest he was entirely mistaken, but no one did, and pride would not let me give up, so I draggingly, painfully, gaspingly completed the last 2 runs, every time the air horn blew uttering expletives and threatening to do terrible things to the Silver Fox and Little Big Horn. It’s amazing how much animosity can build up over 3 minutes in a middle aged runner ! I can’t actually remember the warm down as I was lacking vital Oxygen at that stage. On the journey home in the car I realised at one point that I could not actually feel my thighs. GASP ( my hubby) watched me struggle through the door and the look on his face told me he knew that not only was pre running nookie banned, post running activity was out of the question !
Bigfoodiemama does not give up easy though. Wednesday night. I was in living dread of the Mr. Boot Camps …the bastard…appearance, but no , Facebook advised me that the Silver Fox was on the case again. I was concerned as he had gone right of schedule on Monday, so would he do it again ? Surely not….someone will have pulled him aside and suggested he needed to take a look at the laminated photocopy and 6 runs would do the job….I am naïve. The Mad One and Energetic Edel re appeared following AC/DC, Energetic sporting a ginormous hip bruise which she apparently sustained at the concert…touch of the BDSM look about it in my opinion. The warm up started and we were jogging again…feck it. Following Little Big Horns instructions we all lined up at the start for the 6 runs, and he yelled “ Right Girls, 8 x 1.5 minutes running and 1 minute walking. A series of groans alerted him the fact that we were not happy, and I bravely suggested it should be 2 minutes between walks and we were only meant to do 6 runs ACCORDING TO THE SCHEDULE…..”Feck the schedule” he said and blew his horn !
The Mad One was chatting while running…the total wagon, whereas I had to save every breath to make it to the end of the 90 seconds. As soon as the horn blew you could hear a collective “ F**k” from the ladies as they exhaled in pain. I was sticking strictly to the grass to protect my aging joints and avoid shin splints. The Mad One suggested I was taking a short cut…the cheeky cow, but I couldn’t shout to her , due to lack of breath so just raised two fingers in her general direction. 2 runs got to 4 runs and then 6 runs. Encouraging us, another member of the football club who was timing us, would call out “10 seconds left” at the end of each run. The Mad One took grave offence to this as she reckoned those 10 seconds were more like 20 and he sounded far too cheerful so christened him “ Born a B******s”. This is not the type of pseudo name I would normally choose but quite frankly, at present, I can’t think of anything better so “ Born a B******s “ he remains. Another evening over and I was quite proud of myself. I am nervous now as I am away next week so will be MIA until Monday week. I have , like a good wee runner, downloaded the app , bought an arm band for my smartphone and have a world of good intentions…will I complete the schedule on the beach in Rosslare….time will tell ! Keep running ladies…see you Monday week x