The Caped Crusader

One of my mantras is " There's no such thing as bad weather, just a bad choice in clothes". I repeated this to myself at regular intervals last night, as I folded myself and the extremely large Elvery's Sports Poncho into my car for the Monday night run. Based on my recent bout of chestiness, the fact there was torrential rain at our house and out of a sense of love, protection and devotion ( I hope!) GASP advised me that, under no circumstances was I going running, unless suitably attired. Over my full length running leggings, tight bra, even tighter sports support bra and pink lycra top I donned a MASSIVE pale grey poncho, previously purchased in Croke Park, in similar inclement circumstances. I am a big girl but this poncho could happily house a small family with pets without anyone getting wet, but I had to agree, kiss his cheek lovingly and set off, in the hope that this was what people wore running in the rain....not so ! I arrived onto the Fair Green,just as a gust of air threatened to make me airbound, like a Roseanne Barr Tribute Act, much to the amusement of a few ladies, who politely suggested it was great idea.....as they all stood in their figure hugging light waterproof colourful little rainjackets...the humiliation ! Mind you, as I am now 45 not 25, I decided not to give a f**k and happily took off on the first of the 3 five minute runs. Running in the rain is great. Apart from the fact your feet get soaked as you jog on the grass looking like a Caped Crusader in your poncho, the risk of wind a serious threat,and your breathing in the plastic hood sounds like a phone sex line, you convince yourself that you are not just "fair weather" runner, you are not a quitter and your face gets a great wash. Sweating in your plastic tent is an issue however, but I decided this added to the weight loss potential so embraced those beads. I also realised that the provision of the poncho and two plastic bin bags to protect the car seats, indicated that after 12 years of marriage, GASP only has my best interests at heart....either that or he wanted to make a complete d**k of his wife in front of all the locals !!!
Inadvertently I may have now lost my anonymity as bigfoodiemama,as, trust me , there was only one large, grey plastic poncho clad female running on the grass like a 747 set for take off in the Fair Green last night.....now you all know who I am. At the end I was the driest even if I looked the stupidest and thoroughly enjoyed the session. Gentle Gary ( I LOVE YOU !!!) called us over at the end, congratulated us for showing up in such conditions and then scarily suggested we not be nervous already about Friday nights upcoming session with Rapid Ronan. " Yis will be looked after" he promised....Now,I don't know about the rest of you, but many a man has promised to " look after me" and then failed to deliver....I am nervous ahead of Fridays " off schedule" session...who knows what Rapid will ask us to do....there's women still recovering from last week. Gentle Gary....don't let me down !!!