Panty Permutations

Local radio has alot to answer for. I'll go back to the start though. Some time ago, in an effort not to suffer from VPL , I headed to, the one and only, M&S for the multipack of briefs. Briefs is a wholly inappropriate word for what came out of the packet. I had mistakenly thought "full briefs" were just a longer knicker....oh not, they were longer, wider, higher, bigger and more monstrous than any previously everyday knickers.
Now, you cannot return knickers, understandably, and as someone who hates waste, I decided to suffer and and wear them, so as not to waste my hard earned money. This was not too difficult for me as boy they were comfortable, there was not chance of a VPL and NO chance of bedroom activity...these babies could wreck the libido of even the most randy ! I wore them for work and medical appointments, until the static in them one day nearly electrocuted me and I decided the time had come to make a purchase. Off I headed, back to M&S, and decided as GASP had suffered enough, that I would make an effort to wear comfortable yet colourful and matching underwear. No, I did not purchase wispy lacy things but a good solid double pack of padded bras and a multipack of cotton matching, briefer knickers. I was never going to set the world alight but had diminished the chances of tights sliding away, totally eradicated static and had, possibly , made myself slightly more attractive to my husband...the only man I want to impress.
Then.....local radio interceded...Not So Fat Farrelly and Cutie Christy from the morning show. GASP arrives home the other night and in a very unusual move, peeked under the waistband of my trousers and then, to my amazement pulled my top forward to view my bra....WTF !...It was only a Tuesday and he hadn't had his dinner ! " I knew it" he said...." Knew what ?" I exclaimed. " Well according to Séamus and Christy, you are having an affair. " How on earth did you come to that conclusion ?" I asked......." Matching underwear....a dead giveaway...according to Séamus and Christy " . I had recently wrestled a man to the floor, seduced another man in a cupboard and flirted with a Monsignor but that was only in my acting career and was hardly behind closed doors ! Now, I hadn't the heart to tell the man that, with a two pack of bras and 5 pairs of knickers, there were 20 permutations whereby my underwear would be matching...I just raised my eyebrows and returned to seductively stirring the lamb stew like Nigella......