bigfoodiemama

Right, so my injury has rendered me useless as regards actully dancing but I made a perfect spectator. Gavin Glitter dragged me up the front, my having decided that, in order to stay in the game, I still needed to attend training. "When are you allowed dance again?" asked Gavin. "Monday" said I. With a wee glint in his gamey eye Gavin Glitter asked... " Sex?".... "Loads" said I...are ye asking ?"Poor Gavin Glitter nearly choked as he uttered "F*** No !" I giggled to myself and relaxed against the wall to watch the group dance practice. Bangin' Barry winked at me and off the boys went like a heard of wilderbeasts dancing to Elton John. Poor Bangin' could not remember one section but improvised with a couple of pirouettes ( not in the programme) and big arm movements....and got away with it. Utterly Butterly concerntrated hard, so hard that he looked as if he was constipated but, following some gentle encourgement from the s...

Last week as I travelled home from work I overheard an interview with a man who lived in the same village as Colm "Gooch" Cooper. The Gooch had sustained an Anterior Cruciate Injury and the man on the radio was asked how this news had affected those in the area.He then uttered the words " It was like a death in the family" I was shocked. As a woman who has, in my other career, taken care of county football players and All Ireland Winners, even I thought this was a crazy statement.At the end of the day....it's sport....not life or death. The radio coverage of The Gooch's injury, surgery and recovery has continued with an air of reverence and admiration....a bit too much fuss....or so I thought. Last night, at the Monday edition of SCD ( Strictly Come Dancing) a truly shocking and terrible thing happened...and I don't mean watching the bum wiggling of some of the male dancers. I was throwing myself wholeheartedly into the Salsa, trying hard to match the e...

Having been accosted over a pound of sausages by the Dancing Butcher, I find myself enlisted in the local "Strictly Come Dancing" ( SCD from now on). I did not enter this reluctantly as, having spent some time losing 2 stone, I am keen to get fit and this appeared to be a fun way of exercising, while gaining a new skill and meeting some new people.Practice started this week and I showed up in my new slinky sports wear...not like the baggy drawstring tracksuit bottoms of old. My sparkling new trainers immediately identified me as someone to whom exercise is alien, but I was full of enthusiasm. I decided to take my place in the back row for the warm up stretches, one of which involved bending forwards from the waist with arms spread and remaining at a 90 degree angle for a count of 8. Little did I know that this shot of me taken from behind by a local photographer , would be the one which graced the local Rugby Club Facebook page with the caption " guess who is training f...

So last night I had the pleasure of spending my Saturday night in the compnay of the Financial Advisor and the Blonde, in a local dinner serving ( of course) hostelry. The converstion was flowing from minute one, as it does in the company of those who know each other so well . The talk quickly got round to Italy, as I was boasting of the Canneloni I had prepared earlier in the day, with a view to healthy lunches for the week. As my two dear friends are serious foodies, I questioned them in realtion to the difference between Picorino and Parmesan cheese, as my recipe demanded the former, whereas my fridge only contained the latter.The decison was taken that Picorino was just a milder form of Parmesan and that my Canneloni would not fall based on a decison to choose one over the other. This led on to the Blonde advising us that , as her next BIG ( and I mean BIG!) birthday was in 18 months time, she wished to advise us, that she actually wanted to go to Italy. She expressed a desire to h...

So the Mad One phones me saying " I have it...your intro for Strictly Come Dancing (SCD).Take a look at Jack by Breach on U tube and phone me back...I am sure we can get the costumes" I advised her that I had never heard of it and asked how to spell the artists name...." Breach as in birth" was the answer and with that she hung up. As GASP was reading the Sky Sports page on my tablet and WWE was entertaining the 2 boys on the x box, I resorted to turning on my sons newly acquired tablet, in my keen curiousity to view this musical masterpiece and the "costumes". I typed in the required terms on Google and hit play ........she has TOTALLY lost it this time ! As a dance tune "Jack" is not bad, but the costumes are human hair...yes, people dressed in clothing made entirely of long straight blonde,frizzy bruntette or curly red hair....human hair !!!!! Now, I may not be the worlds brightest but I really don't think the Rugby Club of my local agri...

I held it in my hand and caressed it....it was hard, smooth and it's red round end glistened in my hand. I could not wait to get it inside me. Lovingly I caressed it and wondered if my sister knew what her husband was capable of delivering.She really didn't appreciate the depths of his talents, but I would not be guilty of that sin. I was going to savour every bit of it , slowly nibbling before devouring it. I gasped, awash with feelings I had not known for some time. The others did not compare...this was going to be an experience and I knew what I was getting, because I had had it before and was left satisfied, smiling and wanting more.....there is nothing like a Rooster. Kerrs Pinks don't even come close and as for Maris Piper....pah ! The Spud Farmer produced premium produce and had left his bag at my back door...if you know what I mean ! As I gently cleansed it of it's Louth mud, patted it dry and pricked it, I thanked God my sister had married a spud man....more pl...

Marriage brings with it,every year a new comfort level with your partner...whether he likes it or not. Those intimate little activities which were on a " need to know" basis before you married, are now carried out in full view of your poor husband. GASP has seen many things in the last 9 years, that I am sure he wished he hadn't,as some of my mystery is now on full view to him, included in which is the "Bridget Jones" knicker collection. Prior to marriage, he was under the impression that my underwear drawer consisted of wispy little fancy smalls. He was blissfully unaware that in the countdown to our wedding day, I purchased about 17 different pairs of BJ's to ensure absoultely no VPL in my slinky wedding dress ( I was 2 stone lighter so slinky was the order of the day) Over the last few years he has seen the BJ's emerge from the wardrobe, usually flung over my shoulder as I hunt down the required underwear for the various outfits I have worn. I took ...