VPL LOL

This time last year, all I desired was a Michael Kors handbag. Due to feigning near death a few weeks beforehand I duly got the most magnificent MK bag, which I adore and treasure. What a difference a year makes...no Monola's for me , no Jimmy Choo...all I wanted were new trainers for my birthday from The Run Hub, a specialist store for runners.....yes I know...HYSTERICAL ! Those who have known me for the past 45 years have no idea who I am, how I think or what on Earth has happened to their occasionally blue, couch, food and comfort loving friend...alien abduction has been quoted as a possible reason.
I duly headed off to The Run Hub from work, conscious of the fact that I would look a bit of " non runner" in my dress and heels, I changed into capri leggings, luminous pink running top and my old trainers, wanting to totally look the part ( of a peri menopausal woman in amid life crisis !) I parked in the car park below the centre and left my handbag in the car as handbag and sports gear are a no no ! The lovely Marathon Mark greeted me cheerfully and as in seconds I had whipped off my socks and placed my naked feet on the special footplate he placed, like Prince Charming, below my toe toes....mmmm! He then brought me over to the side of the shop, pointing out the 10m non slip strip on the floor and asked that I run up and down...sure I was delighted to because I am a runner ! That was when things went a little left of centre. Marathon Mark kindly brought me over to the large computer screen, keen to show me my lower body on the screen so we could analyse my run, to ensure the correct footwear . As he pointed to my fake tanned calves and feet, all I could see was the VPL under my capri pants and the four buttocks effect ! OMG ! The woman who strolled in confidently feeling like a toned, hewed athlete suddenly remembered she was a flabby bottomed, middle aged woman sliding towards 50....sniff ! But, you know what...Marathon Mark did not bat an eyelid, pointed out the little idiosyncrasies of my amateur run, asked me to take a seat and brought out 5 pairs of total beauties, specifically suitable for my efforts.
Like Cinderella, I tried on the first pair and took to the track again, this time only looking at my colourfully clad feet and feeling alot more like the girl who had entered the shop. Marathon Mark asked me not to think about it too much and just go for whatever pair " felt right"....mmmmm ! I chose a pair of Saucony Omni 14, fell in love, walked on air ( or so it felt) and like a 4 year old , asked Marathon Mark if I could wear them home. He giggled and agreed, but I then realised I had left my wallet in my handbag in the car, so advised MM of this suggesting I remove the trainers to go get my money, in light of the fact I had not yet paid for them and could just stroll off into the distance. "Not at all" said Marathon Mark, " and if you try to get away I can run and catch you " he said with a twinkle in his eye...."Aha" says I " but you don't know how fast I run ! " I exclaimed.......I reckon his recent view of my four buttocks was the reason he kindly smiled, safe in the knowledge his trainers were safe until paid for ....I've swapped Michael Kors for Marathon Mark, loving them equally for the pleasure they bring me.