Crossed Lines


So....GASP advised me he would phone me on his way home from visiting an elderly relative to ask me what I needed from the shop. I had happily brought the boys to football training to facilitate this visit , hence being unable to fit in the shop as well as working, collecting the boys and feeding them. I arrived at training and with joy noticed Striding Stephen looking for some company to walk around the pitch and we put the world to rights while walking lap after lap. His lovely wife Co Co Carol phoned us while we were on the way round and he briefly chatted to her, but advised her he was with his " other woman" so would have to hang up and see her at home. A few moments later, GASP, as promised, phoned me . I immediately said to him " I am with another man" ( female code for "my ability to chat is limited" ) and asked what I wanted from the shop. Wholemeal bread and ham" I immediately replied, to get you sorted for breakfast tomorrow and sandwiches. Thinking that was the end of it, I made to get off the phone only for GASP to ask " Is all the ham gone ?" " I don't know" I replied , not caring one way or the other. " The ham that was left this morning will do me for sandwiches" he replied, so with gaining frustration I replied in that famous phrase " That's fine then !" ( female code again for " just f*****g get ham" ) GASP again asked if I really wanted ham to which I said " I will leave it to you" ( female code for " are you not f*****G listening to me you total b*****d!!!) All through this conversation the lovely Striding Stephen was walking alongside me, so I could not actually express my actual feelings/opinion. Eventually the conversation signed off, my blood pressure having gone up a notch. I returned home to find GASP the wholemeal bread and the f***in ham !!!! I was livid...slightly hormonaly irrationally so. I let rip and this lead to GASP exclaiming it was the last time he'd ever phone and ask me what I wanted from the shop....not exactly the result I was looking for ...." BUT I GAVE YOU THE CODE" I said...he looked at me blankly.......new code required....i.e...... I am with another man....just do as I say, do not question it and do not offer an opinion....not sure it's going to work either.....the lines are crossed ....as are my legs :)


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