bigfoodiemama

The President and the First Lady , much to our delight, chose to visit our capital city a couple of weeks ago along with a mad bunch of much adored friends. A small incident involving the Presidents disappearing wallet led to the Mad One and I going on a Dempsey and Makepeace type escapade around the somewhat dodgy areas of the city, until The Mad One retreived said wallet from the Summerhill Bus Depot. The President and First Lady expressed their gratitude by sending a Marks and Spencers voucher to both of us, much to my joy. I have a theory in relation to M+S vouchers, in that such unexpected gifts should always be used to refresh ones underwear drawer, so with delight I headed off to freshen up my summer underwear. I contemplated each and every knicker on it's merits, appearance, VPL, colour, the need for invisibility under summer linen and whites. I did , for a brief ( get it!) moment consider the sexiness factor, but quickly discounted this as a viable reason to buy lingerie ...

Yesterday I reached the point of no return. The previous 4 weeks, countless car journeys and numerous tasks had left BFM depleted. I was banjaxed. I made a decision that today would be a form of mini sabbatical so advised GASP and the boys that I was going nowhere, would not be getting dressed at any point ...I would be dressed but in pyjamas....and that I was to be allowed to completely rest. They were totally unperturbed by this as I promised, if left to have a lie in, I would cook pancakes for breakfast...they were happy out. They all kinda like me being around the house anyway. Off I went to my bed last night and snuggled down, my tired brain and body embracing the thought of a day off. I woke with a pain in my neck at 7.45, got up while the house slept, heated a bean bag in the microwave, made a Costa in the Tassimo and sat warm snuggly and alone watching Big Little Lies....it was bliss ! I was joined an hour later by the 3 male members of the house and happily set to making said ...

As you now know, after 3 weeks of mayhem I was sooooo looking forward to hitting the couch last night . The dinner was going to be a simple affair of fish cakes and oven chips, Fat Freddie and the eldest being given steaks I had found in the freezer. I put in the chips and fish cakes in my lovely shining new oven and pan fried the steaks, serving FF and the eldest first and advising GASP to take a seat as his fish cakes were just cooking. I opened the oven to find the oven chips floppy and merely defrosted and no hot air fogged up my glasses. I realised the oven fan was on but no heat was forthcoming. I twiddled the knob but nothing happened. I took out the manual, rechecked it was not on auto, turned it off and back on, swore, twiddled the knob a bit more and declared in full hormonal fashion that the bloody thing had a fault. For some reason, I thought the fish cakes were hot so gave them to GASP who ate them, saying nothing and I advised him I would give him the chips later,once I...

In the past 3 weeks ( 21 days exactly) I have orchestrated and delivered a weekend for all four of us in Liverpool for GASP's impending BIG birthday. This included getting two tickets for GASP and the eldest to go to Heaven ie. Anfield thanks to a very dear friend aka The President. As it was a surprise trip all details fell to my good self and, if I may say so, it was a resounding success. Since we docked off our swift ferry on Monday March 13th I have had the car serviced and NCT'd, done the drop off for 3 singing lessons, 3 swimming lessons, gone to 6 football games, 9 training sessions, compered a pub quiz, arranged costumes for no uniform day, attended a St. Patrick's Day parade, attended a " please inject my butt" appointment, visited a patient in hospital twice , took the eldest to the Aviva for Ireland v Iceland having won tickets, had the carpets and couch cleaned, cooked, reheated or microwaved 18 dinners , and bought a new cooker as they were the last 1...

We did alot of screwing in the utility room on Valentines night. You see married Valentines is a little different to the flower laden, gift enhanced, dinner out single version. Having eaten dinner separately ( he was stroking his bullocks.....I was starving) and put the boys to bed, I joined GASP in the utility room, in my pyjamas, as he pulled out his tool and got to work....unscrewing the panels on the side of the tumble drier. I had declared that I knew exactly how to fix the drier, having very intelligently asked the €80 an hour service man to show me what exactly he had done the last time we called him out....not a bad idea hey ! We had , in fact, paid him €80 to mop up a little water in a reservoir with some kitchen roll, thereby "convincing" the drier that the water container was not in fact full.....FFS! GASP was not exactly convinced that I knew what I was doing, but nonetheless, in an effort to save a bit of expenditure went along with me, and to his great delight,...

OK, so now that I am 46 years old I have been experimenting. It wasn't really necessary when I was younger, as I just stuck to what I knew and it seemed to work fine. I was always happy anyway and had no complaints from the opposite sex. Getting older has it's drawbacks though as the same old techniques fail to deliver and I have found myself lacking in satisfaction. Some time ago I went out and bought a few items to add to my old bits and pieces and up until about a week ago, it seemed to be doing the trick, except for a few people advising me that I looked a bit pale. You will remember that, a week ago, I bought a wand, but according to The Mad One, it looks like I am going to need a the Fairy Godmother, pumpkin, mice and a large sprinkling of magic to conceal my under eye wrinkles. I arrived at her immaculate ( ha ha ! ) house this morning for a cuppa, having spent some time in my en suite applying make up and liberally waving my wand around. All week long, I have used an e...

So, my attendance at the Tuesday night spinning class resumed last night, having taken a night off last week ,after having acupuncture for my ongoing butt trouble....yes, I am now allowing someone to actually put pins in my ass......no I am not a sadomasochist ! I had decided ( hilariously !) that I really must be quite fit as the spin class to date had been fairly straightforward, being a bit of a push but enjoyable and my sweat towel had gone mostly unused. The KOK's had advised me that Rapid had the bikes serviced about 10 days ago, but I reckoned this was merely a spit and polish job and would have no effect whatsoever. " Fit" and confident, I strolled into class last night. Lovely Loopy Lou took a seat on my bike, having just finished Boot Camp ( hence the loopy bit ), so I happily moved one over and positioned myself, in my Muddy Fox padded shorts, onto the new saddle, a broader, softer version of it's previous item of perineal torture...happy days. The funk...