bigfoodiemama

Dear Friend, I hope this final blog of my 40's finds you healthy, safe and happy. I thought I would take the opportunity of this quieter life in “COVID 19 lockdown” to let you pass a few minutes wondering about my mental health, which thankfully is just fine surprisingly enough ( not that you will think so by the end of this blog) . I think it might be due to the Coaching qualification I did a couple of years ago but I am far more “zen” than I normally would be. I use a wee tool I learned about called the CIA i.e. What I can Control, Influence and Accept and to this day it has kept me quite sane…mind you GASP may have another view ! This Coronavirus has certainly made us all stop and think. We are fine thankfully at present. Having spent some years advising GASP of how important my job was in a Hospital , with great delight he now boasts a letter determining that, as an oil lorry driver, he is actual essential too! We are very aware that our jobs put us at a higher risk as we are...

Local radio has alot to answer for. I'll go back to the start though. Some time ago, in an effort not to suffer from VPL , I headed to, the one and only, M&S for the multipack of briefs. Briefs is a wholly inappropriate word for what came out of the packet. I had mistakenly thought "full briefs" were just a longer knicker....oh not, they were longer, wider, higher, bigger and more monstrous than any previously everyday knickers. Now, you cannot return knickers, understandably, and as someone who hates waste, I decided to suffer and and wear them, so as not to waste my hard earned money. This was not too difficult for me as boy they were comfortable, there was not chance of a VPL and NO chance of bedroom activity...these babies could wreck the libido of even the most randy ! I wore them for work and medical appointments, until the static in them one day nearly electrocuted me and I decided the time had come to make a purchase. Off I headed, back to M&S, and decide...

I woke Sunday morning having, sensibly and maturely , abstained from too much Prosecco the night before at my Police Academy premier. In the knowledge I had been less than present at home for the previous 3 days, I bounced out of bed, showered and joined the boys at mass. I suppose it could be seen as method acting for my religious part...I am sooo Daniel Day Lewis ! After a quick visit to my mother in law (MIL), so as to confirm to her I actually exist and not just the social butterfly she believes me to be, and secretly loves me for ( it's quite a secret!), I took a lift from The Shoe Queen to the local hostelry for our filming of Sister Act. The gang all arrived, giggly, excited and nervous in equal measure. From early on there was a healthy amount of banter between the religious and the gangsters, old nuns and young nuns, the Reverend Mother and the Monsignor (yes, there was definitely some on screen chemistry between us ) Sister Mary Clarence (our Whoopi) and her beautiful ...

Police Academy.....where do I start ! Having enthusiastically agreed to join the Mad One, The Spud Farmer and the Hightower Honey Monster for auditions and rehearsals, I happily met my fellow actors, some of whom I knew intimately ( ahem !) and some I hoped to get to know intimately ! We were asked as a cast to pick a movie so our male dominated group suggested Rocky 1, Rocky 2, Rocky 3 or as a fair alternative Creed ! The fabulous women, Chief Dympna, Lisa Tackleberry , Curvy Karen Corbally and Darling Dolores Hooks made a few, more diverse suggestions and after about 25 Whatsapp polls Police Academy was chosen as the best of a bad lot...or so we thought...turns out it was genius ! Energetic Enda Dopeland agreed to join us, Bogger Barbara was also in and I met the lovely Mahoney O'Brien, Leeside Ted Harris, Spanish George Mc Coy and Adrian Blankes. For some unknown reason T.W.I.N.C felt I should be cast as Lieutenant Callahan....now what resemblance I have to a loud, bossy, big ...

My blog is 10 years old since the 29th of October !!! I am amazed, delighted and surprised....and I am back !!! Yes, I have been absent but am back at a beautiful new writing desk, which I hope will inspire many blogs to come. Sooooo, what have I been up to ? Just in case you think I have failed you as readers with my infrequent posts, I thought I might return by giving you a flavour of what the past 2 months alone have involved and maybe, just maybe you might forgive me for my being AWOL. Earlier this year, I happily volunteered to be on the organising committee of my professions ( not what you might think !) national conference. I put November 8th and 9th in my diary, happy there was no conflict in my schedule.In the summer The Mad One asked if I would join my old Strictly buddies in a nearby GAA clubs Oscars event. I immediately agreed as the football season would be coming to an end so my taxi duties would ease and I love a bit of fun. The night of November 9th was the red carpet n...

D Day had finally come. Having loved, lost and lamented numerous kittens over the years, I knew I needed to put a stop to production before we were over run with inbred mutant cats. The lovely Socky and Flowerpot were booked in to be neutered in the vets yesterday morning, with instruction to have them fasting from 9.00pm the night before. This was where the fun started. I had a cunning plan to let the two outdoor cats into the kitchen for some food, shut the door behind them, place a litter tray beside them and leave them in the kitchen overnight, ensuring their capture and fasting. GASP was having none of it. He reckoned they should be kept overnight in the shed declaring they would , without doubt, defecate in the house. " How dare you !" I exclaimed...my pussies are toilet trained and there is no way I can catch them in the morning in the shed. I declared that they were categorically staying in the house and GASP stated categorically they had to go into the utility room ...

It has been a week of reminiscing ! 20 years ago on May 29th I advised GASP he was dating me and decided I would marry him ! GASP ( Gorgeous, Adorable, Suffering and Patient) arrived innocently to a 29th birthday party No Longer Single and I held in our home at that time, a gate lodge of Slane Castle no less ! On New Years Eve that year we had committed to finding husbands and our 29th party happily coincided with my plan. GASP didn't stand a chance. I had met him on St Stephen's night for the first time, we were both sick early in the New Year ( him flu, me pneumonia) and by about Easter I had set my sights on him. I invited him , along with his two friends, to the party, and when he arrived with a bottle of Dry Martini ( my chosen tipple in the 90's) , a bottle of Chablis ( yes!) and a very large box of Milk Tray I knew I had chosen well. He was , apparently , completely unaware of my intentions ,being totally blind to me advances, and on arrival at the party remarked the...

The Ambassadrice and I , having seen the photo of the Double Dexter Burger at Shelbourne Social, decided to treat ourselves to a birthday evening out between our two May birth dates. Last Wednesday evening, after our days work, we met there in the hope the food photography and hype lived up to it's name. Oh it did ! On arrival my little foodie heart fluttered as I spotted none other than the man himself Dylan Mc Grath sitting inside the door...oh boy he is manly ! We were seated in the booth next to him ( somewhat distracting) but my mind was taken by one of my favourite odours...leather ! The tables were covered in leather, the chairs leather and the aprons hanging on the torsos of the waiting staff were suspended and bound by leather...my nostrils celebrated the unmistakable smell of hide ...Rrrrr! We settled down and relished every moment of what followed, the understated yet excellent service, the scallop, duck and sweet potato purée starter and the excellent Portugese red. Thi...

Last night The Mad One, The Spud Farmer, GASP and I journeyed to our home village of Slane to see the Hot House Flowers. I turned to GASP at one point advising him that this event was nothing short of perfection, out on a sunny Bank holiday Sunday , glass of cider in hand, live music, and good friends. I had last seen the Flowers while in the UK, some 25 years ago, when they were a perfect reminder of all things from home and the joyful madness of dancing all night. The Mad One and I happily let our middle aged bodies go with the music last night ( no...no one got injured !) and had a ball. Little Big Horn and his lovely Missus were also at the gig and as I walked past them I was greeted with a " Hello Bigfoodiemama" which made me smile and remind me that my alter ego has been in hiding and needed to re emerge from the wintery shadows. Alot has been going in in my world, and I am certainly aware that as I write this dear friends of mine are struggling with loss, ill health ...

Just after I started this blog 9 years ago on October 29th, I headed to my bed, my waters broke and right about now my second son arrived into the world, kicking and screaming....which he continued to do for about 2 and a half years. Last night he slept from 10.00 pm until 8.30 this morning....phew ! I am older, wiser ?? a bit less energetic but happy with my lot. We have had a lovely Bank Holiday weekend which involved a very good Italian ( dinner not lover ! ) in Rosso Carpaccio, where I lovingly gazed at GASP , listening to the strains of romantic music over an excellent Quatro Stagioni. The complimentary Limoncello brought me back to sunny days in Sorrento and Verona and I thoroughly enjoyed our rare date night. Of course, we spoke about the two boys and boring middle aged topics but at least we were alone to do so without FIFA 19 or Fortnite in the background. We headed to a 60th and enjoyed a few drinks with relatives and locals, the birthday boy ecstatic that his long awaited r...

Well, in the two and a half months since I last wrote a blog ALOT has happened...I got to experience some of life's ups and downs, transitions and traditions. Thankfully, after my Bad Day I have been well enough to survive all that was thrown in my direction and for that am very grateful. Eldest son moved to start secondary school at the end of August and the " helicopter" parent that I might just show signs of, found this to be quite a big event. I realised I was holding my breath in his first few weeks, was uptight about our new routines and commutes and didn't actually exhale until about 3 weeks in when I realised he was happy out , unfazed by the whole thing and we had easily slipped into our new habits...phew ! At the end of September, having exhaled, I delightedly took off to Carcassonne with the Blonde, No Longer Single, the Financial Advisor and the Queen of Baking for 3 days of giggles, rest, relaxation, food and wine. It was a perfect tonic and reminded us...

Yesterday, I should have listened to every bone in my Bank Holiday body and stayed in bed. Monday 6th August was my Friday 13th. I awoke, stiff sore and pissed off. I got out of bed and headed up to the sitting room where the 3 men in my life were slouched, surrounded by remnants of the previous nights snacks and already bickering over what to watch on the television...my images of one TV and a happy family disintegrating before me. I realised I was slightly hormonally challenged so sat outside with the cats muttering insanely to myself as I consumed my first Costa Tassimo coffee of the day. I must have appeared slightly demented when I gave out about the state of the sitting room as when I requested a second coffee my eldest son swiftly presented me with one adding (under his nearly teenager breath) that it was decaff as I had enough caffeine into my system. His father eyed him incredulously , his son being totally unaware of the imminent danger and advised him NEVER to give me decaff...

Last Friday night i headed I headed to the cinema with BMM and The Mad One to see Mamma Mia..Here we go again. There is no need for a spoiler alert as the trailer gives away anything I might mention so it's safe to keep reading ! Going to the cinema with the Mad One is a 5D experience. It is literally an assault on all your senses which is hilarious, as the moment she sat down in Screen 2, she commented on how loud everyone else was chatting through the ads and movie previews. This gave me hope that I might have a peaceful evening ahead...wrong ! I sat back with my 3 scoops of Maud's ice cream relaxed into my plush seat delighted to be seeing a movie which was not a cartoon. About 1.2 seconds later it started...The Mad One leaned over toward my seat until her bare upper arm was resting against mine. She giggled out loud, in the knowledge ( 47 years of knowledge) that I absolutely hate the brush of anyone's bare flesh....well anyone not married to me or whom I have not giv...

GASP and I will be 15 years married next week, so, in my opinion ( the only one which counts, of course) we could do with spicing things up a bit. GASP is a man for routine, content with what is familiar and happy out with a simple life, with no need for surprises or excitement.He's happy with repeating the same thing every week but I, however, am slightly more demanding ( understatement !). I bore easily, love trying new things and routine does not excite me. I therefore suggested to GASP that we needed to take a look at what we get up to together late in the evening. We have reached a comfortable routine, which I have enjoyed for the past few years and it has satisfied both of us, but I need more. I need to try something new. GASP suggested things were fine jut the way they were because HE was perfectly happy with the state of play, but I protested !! I needed a little frizzon of excitement, something to look forward to, something to do together, which we would both want more of...

The Foodie in me had a real treat the other night. No Longer Single kindly invited GASP and I over to attend the Boyne Valley Series event being held in Sage and Stone. We decided that this constituted a perfect date night as it involved food and other people to talk to, as The Blonde, Victor Meldrew and the Financial Advisor were also due to be in attendance. We arrived to find Mixologist Mick out in the sunshine whipping up Negroni's so the Blonde and I happily took one and found ourselves to be quite merry after that one potent little drinkie. The Duracell Bunny was also in attendance , proving herself as always, to be a lady who can put a smile on your face without even trying. We headed into the restaurant to the strains of beautiful Irish music and sat down for what proved to be an absolute feast of local produce. Boy oh boy did we eat like Royal County Kings ! Our starter of Hugh Maguire's smoked Black Pudding with elderberry dressed salad and a large crouton was simply...

Life has returned to relative normality after the Holy Communion and Confirmation, which were just lovely.They went off without a hitch and I was so proud of my two boys and a little emotional, as it seems like yesterday we had them christened. The week before the confirmation I managed to come down with a clatter of cold sores, a mouthful of mouth ulcers, sore ears and throat and a sinus infection....yeah...a bot rough ! It took herculean efforts to conceal said cold sores on the day of the confirmation but primer, foundation, concealer, more primer, concealer and loose powder did the trick. The Burmese Scot joined us for the weekend which was great, especially as she arrived bearing a bottle of Edinburgh Rhubarb and Ginger Gin.......divine !Her arrival led to my first suspicion that GASP was in fact having an affair. We had been away for a week in between the two big events ( yes I know...madness....but great!) and when I asked the " I always want to stay at home" GASP if ...

So the PTA asked for volunteers to clean the church today, it having recently been painted and the Holy Communion and Confirmation looming. As I have a child in both ceremonies, I thought I should offer an hour of my time, so after a morning watching Under 10 Gaelic and Soccer, I left the boys with GASP and headed up to the church. Only Mother Mary was present so I asked what she wanted me to do and she suggested I start with the windows. Thankfully she volunteered to take the stained glass while I took the clear panes of the entrances and Crying Room. Very soon The Galway Girl and Manolo Blahnik arrived and commenced the harder job of polishing the pews and hoovering underneath them. We got the chance to chat away and I asked then not to tell GASP that I had been spotted cleaning windows as I refused point blank to do so at home. I then went on to suggest that cleaning the church might be a form of confession in itself absolving one from one's previous sins. " Great" sa...

So, after two weeks of begging GASP to whip it out, he finally reached into his shed and extracted the patio cleaner. Oh the excitement ! I had visions of our " outside room " ( you've some imagination Dermot Bannon !) resembling that rear of a Kardashian property ( unlike my own rear !) I had kind of prompted this positive response from GASP in a couple of ways. His new career as a football coach has seen 3 sets of jerseys come home this week for washing, without a squeak from me. I had taken the liberty, in the midst of a much welcome pause in my hormonal imbalances, to pre load favours ( ahem!) and this morning, as he woke one year older, he was greeted with a home made chocolate truffle cake and a small choir before I cooked a full Irish....I was on a winner. We happily went to eldest son's soccer game, they secured a win and we all arrived home, happy out in the spring sunshine.Just as I served the chocolate cake, I mentioned it might just be the perfect day to ...

So the youngest child is due to make his Holy Communion in 20 days time, unfortunately falling exactly 20 days before the Confirmation of the eldest boy...very bad planning on my part, and most unlike me. My slightly frazzled ( see previous blog) brain has had some difficulty in accepting this twist of religious fate ( or should that be faith?) and for some time the two dates have appeared large and looming my mind, as I try to ensure I have everything covered. Thanks to the kind words of a friend who also has Holy Communion I booked the all important bouncy castle over a year ago...the lady advised me I was her third call that day for a booking the following year ! The caterer has been booked...my Boeuf Stroganoff being rejected by the men in my life for the cheaper ( and far more common!) Chicken curry. In an effort to minimise financial ruin, I have been circumspect in relation to the clothing and both boys will wear something old, new, borrowed and blue and I will don the Lennon Co...

So a few days before Lent began, we all came down with the bug known as the " 40 day cough" with symptoms of tiredness, shivers and a hacking cough. I entered an involuntary period of abstinence as I had had absolutely no interest in my BFF's Merlot and Montepulciano. Valentines Day and Pancake Tuesday fell on the same day, early in my recovery, so without consciously considering it, I realised I had given up alcohol for Lent. Facebook had bitten the dust in January, my own " Frexit" and I was enjoying the extra hours in my day, but was unsure how the whole Lent thing would play out teetotal.Turns out this was not really the best Lent to give up the booze....or was it ? Day 2 and my mother in law got admitted to hospital VERY unwell. This in itself would not lead to anyone drinking but might be a reason to imbibe when one is in regular close contact with ones in laws. Luckily, this is not the case with my in laws, so I managed to stay sober throughout her near ...